Ra-One ka maheena

Ra.One is apparently a Diwali release (still a week to go!) but the relentless bombardment of promos and interviews this month on every TV channel (except possibly Doordarshan) has got to me!

I've always considered myself a Shahrukh fan, I've rooted for his Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) IPL team for him alone.

But there's only so much I can take. I do not know what Shahrukh is expecting to achieve with this repetitive numbing of his TV audiences but I will not be surprised if I'm not the only one feeling a sort of repulsion towards this movie now. A sort of backlash triggered by this sustained attack on my senses.

I would perhaps not have minded so much if the film promotion had dominated the entertainment channels alone. Zoom, UTV Stars, MTV et al. But when I find the news channels blaring Ra.One when I'd rather see them discussing Telangana or Occupy Wall Street, I don't take too kindly to this intrusion in my TV watching experience.

This also happens to be protest season. Not just in India but all over the world.

So I decided to compiled my own form of protest about Ra.One. Not that anybody cares but it feels good to be able to get this out of my system in this non-violent manner. The other option would have been to ram my fist into my TV - but then only I would have been the loser.

Now can somebody please get this over to Shah Rukh Khan? It is in good humour and is only my way of saying "aur nahin bas aur nahin, Ra-One ke chhaaley aur nahin".

Here goes:

Ra-One ka maheena
Har channel karey sor
Jiyara re lagey hai aise
Naatak hai ye koi ghor

Shahrukh ghajab dhaaye
Bhale hi mere bhaiya
Chaahe wo kharcha kare
Lakhon hi rupaiya
Dekha jaaye naahi
Phillum ye laage bore
Jiyara re lagey hai aise
Naatak hai ye koi ghor

Shahrukh karey joron se
Humko ishaara
Naahin phansenge bhaiya
Binti karey bechaara
Marzi hai hamaari
Karta jaaye wo sor
Samjha kaa hai sasuraa
Saha jaaye na ye aur!!!

Indian Politics Today - in a lighter vein

The last four days have seen a lot of petty drama in Indian politics. It seems to have stooped to a new low. Following the news, I couldn't help feeling that the events of the last few days would put even a Bollywood masala film to shame. If Indian politicians can keep this up, you've got to think that a few producers in Bollywood would be seriously worried that they'd be out of business very soon.

Where there's Bollywood, there's song and music, and - without meaning any disrespect to the serious business that governance is - a few songs did cross my mind as I watched the events unfold.

A sample:

1) Dayanidhi Maran, now Textiles Minister but once Telecom Minister, was dragged into the 2G scam. He vehemently denied all accusations and rubbished claims from former Aircel owner, Sivasankaran, that he was "arm-twisted" by Maran into selling Aircel to the Sun group.

Dayanidhi Maran (in Anil Kapoor mode):
2G, No jee, meri bhi suno ji
Main hoon beqasoor ji
Karna hai tumko jo, jaao karo ji
Sivasankaran, aur tu mat ban
My name is Maran
My name is Maran

2) Four senior minsters of the UPA govt welcomed Baba Ramdev at Delhi airport and held talks with him, apparently trying to placate him and ask him to call off his proposed fast. Apparently a deal was struck but Baba did not honour the deal. Kapil Sibal was enraged that the Baba reneged on his word, and went about flashing to the media, a written commitment from the Baba to the government, agreeing to its terms.

Kapil Sibal (in Jagjit Singh mode):
Wo kaagaz pe likhi, wo jhoothi kahaani
Ye dhokey ka anshan, ye badhti hairaani

3) Baba Ramdev, in turn, blasted the UPA govt, specifically saying he never wanted to ever see Kapil Sibal again

Baba Ramdev:
Badi mushqil hai
Mushqil main Sibal hai
Koi usse khai se uthaaye naa
Jaake kahin wo doob hi jaaye
Koi phir milaaye naa

4) Kapil Sibal lashed back at Baba Ramdev.

Kapil Sibal:
Tum to, dhokebaaz ho
Waada karke, bhool jaate ho

5) An angry government, now determined to “rein in” Baba Ramdev (Kapil Sibal’s words, not mine!) decided on a sinister midnight strategy

Government:
Raat baaki, baat baaki
Hona hai jo, ho jaane do

6) The police gate-crashed Baba Ramdev’s party, burst teargas shells, dispersed the crowd and tried to capture Baba. Although he tried to escape, dressed in woman’s salwar-kameez, the police did get to him.

Police:
Bach ke, bach ke, bach ke
Bach ke kahaan jaaoge
Bach ke kahaan jaaoge

7) The next day, there was a huge outcry all over the country. Even hitherto supporters of the UPA began to express outrage at this overnight action. The BJP, main opposition party in the country, saw its opportunity to cash in.

The BJP celebrated, singing:
Sab kuchh seekha tum ne, na seekhi hoshiyaari
Sach hai Congress-waalon, ki tum ho anaari


8) The PM of the country, Dr. Manmohan Singh, true to style, kept his silence about the midnight police action. Finally, breaking his silence, he defended the govt action but admitted that it was “unfortunate”.

Dr. Manmohan Singh:
Kya se kya ho gaya
O Baba, tere fast pe

9) The Supreme Court, considerably alert nowadays, got into the action and served a notice on the UPA govt to explain the rationale behind the midnight police action.

Supreme Court:
Ye kya hua, kaise hua,
Kab hua, kyon hua

10) At a Congress briefing, a man, posing as a journalist for a Rajasthan publication, managed to put a couple of questions to Congress general secretary, Janardhan Dwivedi. More interestingly, he managed to get to the podium, and just towards the conclusion of the briefing, removed his shoe and threatened Dwivedi with it.

Shoe-guy:
Maar diya jaaye
Ya chhod diya jaaye
Bol tere saath kya salook kiya jaaye

11) Meanwhile, the BJP decided to organize its own protest / rally at the Rajghat in Delhi. Sushma Swaraj, BJP leader, was caught on camera dancing as part of the event. She came in for immediate criticism from the Congress party but, true to form, remained defiant, insisting that there was nothing wrong with singing and dancing to patriotic songs, and that she would do this again if the situation arose.

Sushma Swaraj:
Jab tak hai jaan
Jaan-e-jahaan
Main nachoongi

12) In parallel, the BJP decided to welcome back to its fold, Uma Bharti, one-time prominent leader, who had been dismissed from the party in 2005 for open dissent with L.K. Advani. But these are different times, the BJP needs to win votes in UP/MP and their new leader, Nitin Gadkari, was happy to forgive and forget. A warm welcome was therefore accorded to Uma Bharti.

Nitin Gadkari:
Tum aa gaye ho
Noor aa gaya hai
Nahin to chiraagon se
Lau jaa rahi thi

13) Uma Bharti’s response was equally warm towards the BJP. She claimed that being in politics, she always belonged to only the BJP and no other political party:

Uma Bharti:
Jeene ki tumse
Wajah mil gayi hai
Badi bewajah
Zindagi jaa rahi thii

14) The UPA govt, keen on finding dirt on Baba Ramdev, gunned for his close associate, Balkrishna, claiming he was not of Indian origin and had fake passports. Balkrishna defendend himself strongly but finally broke down.

Balkrishna:
Cheekhne waalon zara, mudke dekho mujhe
Ek bhartiya hoon, main tumhaari tarah

15) In all this, the poor Anna Hazare camp continued to try to stick to its agenda of the Jan Lokpal Bill. While they expressed their unhappiness at the callous manner in which the government seemed to consider their views, the media was more interested in masala and whether Baba Ramdev had upstaged Anna, whether Anna would support Ramdev (considering Ramdev’s rally had assumed political colour following the appearance of the Sangh parivaar members onstage). Poor Anna Hazare was left wondering at what was going on and what he was doing there.

Anna Hazare:
Ye kahaan aa gaye hum
Yunh hi saath saath chalte

***

Ghar Aaya Mera Pardesi (cricket parody)

I make these parodies every now and then. They are usually about cricket, they are often after a big defeat for the Indian cricket team (or any team I support) and, for me, are a perfect outlet for my emotions.

I invariably feel good after expressing my feelings through a parody. :-). Perhaps this is my way of saying "after all, it is only a game".

Over the last couple of years, I have made many. For every occasion I managed to come up with a parody, whether of a few lines or a complete poem. But somehow I never really bothered to post them on my blog. Not only are they sometimes somewhat irreverent (I spare nobody !) but one has to ask oneself : does one really post SUCH stuff on one's blog ?

I have decided that

a) since there is SOME creativity involved (however pathetic :-)), it would be a pity if this were not saved somewhere online. I do have them on my cricket forum also but, as is normal in a forum, they are intermingled with others' parodies also. I therefore thought having just my parodies in one place may be the right way to go

b) this blog is not called "InsideOut" for nothing - and my thoughts expressed, in any form, belong totally here,

and, very importantly

(c) nobody reads my blog anyway so this should not bother anybody. :-)

So here goes.

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Situation : World Cup T20 in the Caribbean. India has just lost to the West Indies today, thus effectively (barring a miracle) getting themselves kicked out of the tournament.
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Based on : Ghar Aaya Mera Pardesi (Awaara - 1951). An all-time classic.

Ghar Aaya Mera Team Desi
Haar Ke World Cup T20

Tu Mere Dil Ko Todta Hai
Tukdon Mein Usko Chhodta Hai
Kaise Samjhaun Jalan Kaisi
Ghar Aaya Mera Team Desi

Aur Tu Vaade Mat Karna
Mujh Se Tu Khel Ab Mat Karna
Kasam Tujhe Ghayal Man Ki
Ghar Aaya Mera Team Desi

Here is the original, if you are interested.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9HD2EyjatA

Ah, now I feel much better about the defeat ! :-)