This will be brief.
Usually my posts are long and rambling – this will be an exception. And may become the norm for future posts too, I think.
Hardly anybody has the patience, time or interest to read nowadays. If you want to say something, put it on video.
Maybe I start doing that someday – when I figure out how to do it. Cannot be complicated.
Anyway , for now, this will have to do.
This has already got to a few sentences and I have yet to get to my point.
That is another thing I need to work on. To get to my point - like the German football team.
No, cancel that. Make it – “like the German football team used to do”.
Anyway, now really getting to the point, here it is.
I woke up this morning with an epiphany.
Ok, that may be a big word and probably entirely inappropriate for what I am trying to say. And I will admit I just wanted to use it sometime in my life. But anyway, better an epiphany than an epidural. Ok, that’s something completely different – edit!.
I guess I HAVE completely lost it. It is only about six in the morning (and those of you who frown at the “only” bit - and I am sure there are some, especially in south India who have got up at 4.00 a.m, taken their morning bath (probably in cold water though they have warm water available), done their morning poojas to various deities, had their lunch and are on their way to their jobs – well, we are not all the same, OK ? Some of us consider 6.00 a.m. part of the previous day. And some of us, even 10.00 a.m. Hey, that's somebody else, ok? Really!
And I just realize I have not yet come to my point.
Wonder how anybody ever managed to have any form of meaningful communication with me. Wonder how I ever passed any exams, how colleagues managed to tolerate me at work.
Or maybe they didn’t. Let’s not go there, that is another can (well, more than just a can) of worms (well, more than just worms).
Staying on subject.(What was it now? I need to think).
Yes, my epiphany.
It is this :
If you are in search of something elusive, it is a challenge.
It is like that video game where every time you think you’ve got the guy, he just ducks you and laughs at you. If you never felt like a loser till then (or wanted a confirmation of your status, as in my case – ok, let’s not go there either!) , this is the game you should play.
But if you are in search of what it is you are in search of? Boy, boy, boy – THAT is something!
It is a totally different ball-game. It is not like one video game. It is like all those video games which are conspiring together, all supposed to make you feel stupid, getting their best “wise-guy? let’s show him” brains together with just one goal – to ensure your wits are anywhere but within accessible reach of you. (What is “accessible reach” anyway? If it is in your reach, it is accessible, right? Boy, I am getting really good at spewing rubbish. Need to apply for a corporate job).
Anyway, so that is where I am now. With my life.
Searching for what it is I am searching for.
Money, fame, friends, social causes, new interests? The only two things I am clear about is that it needs to be fun - and it needs to be on my terms. (Well, I guess these are related in a sense. If something is on your terms, you will tend to have more fun doing it).
I am not sure the answer will come.
It may, it may not. Those video games are merciless – almost like the Aussie cricket team used to be a decade ago. And in life, unlike in a video-game (or some at least), there is no time-out.
But whether I find it or not, the journey is an experience in itself.
Have you ever been lost? What am I saying – we have all been lost at some time or the other in our lives. Maybe a little bit – forgot the way, took the wrong exit, walked down the wrong lane.
But have you ever been really "lost, lost" in your life?
Like “torn within yourself” lost?
Like “mind cannot think straight anymore” lost?
Like “questioning everything I do (or do not do)” lost?
That’s an experience.
And, depending on how you look at it, it can be a lot of fun.
Journeys usually are – the feeling is often more exhilarating than the one you get at the destination. Actually, I am not totally sure I want to arrive. I guess I do want to – eventually – but for now, I will gladly take the ride.
I tell you it is not such a bad thing – to be lost.
It helps you to go back to basics – something we very easily forget when we get into the comfortable rut that life can sometimes become.
It makes you discover new things. If you did not get lost, you would not know of that other path that existed under your nose but you never took.
I am making mistakes every day. Taking one route, finding it leads me nowhere, retracting my steps. End-result: zero? No, I don’t think so. And even if it is, it is part of the journey. Belongs to it.
So that’s it for now. Still searching for what it is I am searching for. When I get to it (or them - there are, I suspect, many things out there, maybe entirely unrelated), I will share further.
Those of you who are clear in your minds, have goals in life, are pursuing your goals according to a plan, measuring your progress – great! Good luck to you, guys. Hats off to you. I sometimes (only sometimes) wish I were a bit like you.
But I know I am not. I am much closer to the other extreme (actually I AM at the other extreme but it is psychologically much more comforting to say that I am “close” to it). No goals, no plans – ergo, no measurement of progress (what progress?).
Ergo also this post and its content.
This was supposed to be brief. At least that is what I intended when I set out to write this. And yet again….
I really need to start working on that video. Granted that would only be a more modern way of spewing rubbish but hey, one has got to move with the times, right?
It took me a while but I now realize it is all about format, presentation, mode of delivery, all the bells-and-whistles (no vuvuzela, thank you!), all that “Avatar” stuff.
And content? Oh, wait – can we copy/paste it from somewhere? Surely there’s got to be a template SOMEWHERE? No? You mean, we've got to actually THINK? Boy, we’re so screwed. Hey, hang on– we can always throw in some more of that flashy audio-video stuff, can't we?
I am SO ready for “corporate”. ;-)
Nah! I think I’m better lost.
About Me
- Raja
- If I can just give to the world more than I take from it, I will be a very happy man. For there is no greater joy in life than to give. Motto : Live, Laugh and Love. You can follow me on Twitter too . My handle is @Raja_Sw.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Dutch Elections 2010 - how right are the results?
Ok, something different this time. Instead of my usual blabbering about an incident from the past or an imaginary husband-wife conversation, I want to talk about something very current and real.
The Netherlands, where I live. Or Holland, as it is more popularly known around the world. Some Dutch people you meet will correct you if you call the country Holland. For them, Holland is a part of the Netherlands – it represents the two provinces, North and South Holland, in the west of the country. And they are technically right. But somehow, for the whole world, the name Holland has stuck as a colloquial name to represent the country. So, for the rest of this article, I am going to take the liberty of also using this name. Much easier than saying “the Netherlands” all the time. :-)
Anyway, the reason I want to talk about Holland today is that we had a rather significant event taking place in our country a couple of days ago, on the 9th of June 2010.
It was the day of elections for the “Tweede Kamer”. The equivalent of the “House of Commons” in England or the Lok Sabha in India.
I am not sure many people around the world were even aware of this. Which is understandable. Holland is just “a dot” on a map of the world. Whenever anybody talks about Europe, they talk about Germany, France, the UK (though I am not sure they want to identify with Europe ;-) ), Italy and Spain. These are the biggies – and though recently people have realized (for all the wrong reasons) that Greece belongs to Europe (and for that matter, Iceland too) – it is invariably the big five that dominate discussions about Europe.
Fair enough. I have no problem whatsoever with this. Even when, on the 20th of February this year, the Dutch Cabinet fell over the Afghanistan debate, there was just a 2 or 3-line mention in the inner pages (actually just on the one page titled “World News”) in the Times of India, the most popular daily newspaper in India. I happened to be in India at that time – and while the news came to me as a shock, it did not surprise me that it earned no more than an inner-page mention.
However blissfully ignorant – or even uncaring - the rest of the world may be about these elections in Holland, their significance for the resident Dutch person must not be underestimated. Especially given the outcome of the elections.
I do not claim to know a whole lot about Dutch politics and I will therefore not comment about things I am not competent to talk about. But politics has always interested me as a subject – ever since I was a young boy and a state of Emergency was declared in India in 1975, followed by a national election in March 1977 where the ruling, supposedly “impregnable” Congress party was trounced. These were significant events at that time in the country and, being at an impressionable age, I got quite fascinated by the whole thing.
Here in Holland, even with my limited understanding of the political history of the country and limited knowledge of the system, I have enjoyed listening to discussions about issues, party positions on issues, coalition formations and the like. Whether it is the Christian Democrats (CDA), or the Labour Party (the PvdA), or the socialists (VVD) or any of the “smaller” parties, it has always been interesting to understand ideologies and coalition politics.
Recently when the UK was forced into a coalition government for the first time in decades, there was huge excitement in the country and media about how this would all work and whether it would work at all. I, for one, could not help smiling because “coalition government” is all that I have seen in Holland whether it was Ruud Lubbers as PM (CDA-led coalition) or Wim Kok as PM (Pvda-led coalition) or JP Balkenende (again CDA-led coalition).
And not just me, I doubt if there are (m)any Dutch persons who have seen a single-party majority in their lifetimes. That has just become a way of life here, what with the increasing number of parties and the diverse points of view amongst the public.
Coming back to these elections, the most significant aspect of the verdict of the people is , without doubt, the mandate given to the far right-wing party, the PVV, led by the fiery Geert Wilders.
This party, till now a fledgling party in national politics but improving its position in every voting round, has won 24 seats this time !
Just behind the liberal socialists VVD (31) and the “Labour Party” PvdA (30). The “ruling” CDA has come crashing down from 41 seats to 21.
This means that whatever coalition is formed, the PVV just cannot be ignored. For, whether one agrees with the party or not, in a democracy the results reflect the voice of the people. And a fair number of the Dutch voting public has given the PVV a clear thumbs-up.
Now why is this so significant?
Because of what the PVV stands for, in the eyes of the Dutch public.
The PVV (Partij voor de Vrijheid – “Party for Freedom”), formed in 2005, is best-known as the party that has a hardline stance on Islam and all things associated with it. From Turkey joining the EU, to Muslim women wearing burqas or even hijaabs, to mosques in Holland, to Islamic education, to immigration from non-western countries - the PVV has always made it abundantly clear that it disapproves of each of these initiatives. In particular, it disapproves of Holland being home to Islamic practices as it feels that immigrants need to integrate with local (non-Islamic) culture.
Obviously the party has a view on other subjects too but invariably its image is associated with its views on Islam in general, and Muslims in Holland in particular.
To be absolutely fair to the PVV,(and I do want to be balanced in my assessment here), its concerns about immigration are not entirely unjustified.
Holland has easily the highest density of population amongst all European countries (not counting the likes of Monaco and the Vatican). In fact, its density of population is amongst the highest in the world. So it is but natural that immigration policy needs to consider resources to support the increasing population.
Again, to be fair to the PVV, their point about integration with the local culture is a fair one. If you live in a country it is only fair that you respect local culture too.
On both the above points, I see their point.
But I have strong reservations about how they approach these issues of immigration and integration. It seems almost like a one-point anti-Muslim agenda that they are pushing into Dutch society.
And THAT is what I have an issue with.
Let’s face it – we live in such a global world now that almost every country has a hue of multiple nationalities that make up its landscape. Maybe some countries more than others, but this is an undeniable trend of liberalization and globalization and is only likely to increase in the years to come.
It is not happening only in tiny Holland – it is happening all over the world.
In such a situation, the one quality a country needs to have is, in my opinion, inclusiveness.
This is not to deny that each country has its own unique culture, language, customs and all those things that make it special. Rather, it is to accept that people with a different culture, language and customs can be positive contributors to this country’s society and economy and therefore live side-by-side with others of this country.
The keyword in such co-existence is respect. Where there is mutual respect for each person’s culture and customs, where there is acceptance and tolerance in society, there is a sense of community. There should be no need to fear a loss of identity since there is no threat to such identity.
Obviously this works both ways. The host nation’s population will be tolerant of immigrants only if the immigrants themselves are respectful towards, and grateful for, the graciousness of the host.
I agree that this sounds theoretical but that is exactly it – and also the way it has worked in the USA for over two hundred years.
The USA, after the native Indians, has been an immigrant nation for this entire period (and continues to be so). Today they are all Americans but they are of Italian-origin, German-origin, Polish-origin, Indian-origin and so on. They live side-by-side, each one bringing his/her own culture and skills into the US. Second- and third-generation Americans are usually Americans first - yet their ethnic roots provide that cultural diversity that makes for a multi-cultural society.
I am not suggesting that Holland (or for that matter, any other country) could or should adopt this model. The histories involved are very different.
But I do think, as times change, societies need to recognize trends in migration and learn to cope with it instead of attempting to shut it out. Burying one’s head in the sand does not make it go away. And Holland has always been in the forefront of globalization – the Dutch travelled the seas well and discovered new lands for trade well before most of the rest of the world.
Coming to a more practical discussion, what then are the key issues here? Ask the common man or woman on the streets of Holland.
Unless he or she has been brainwashed by the politicians and/or the media, the answer you are likely to get is more likely to be about “real” things – things that matter to each individual.
The economy. jobs, healthcare, education, crime rates. These are challenging times for Holland and for Europe in general. And these are the things that actually matter more on a daily basis to the common man than something like “integration”.
On the subject of integration, and speaking a little bit for myself now, to be honest, I have never seen a lady in a burqa in Holland so I do not understand the fuss about burqas. But even if we talk about a lady with a hijab, it is her personal or religious choice. As long as she conducts herself in society like any other respectable lady, why should it matter? I, for one, don't see a problem.
For those religious-minded, who would like to visit a place of worship for their prayers, whether that place is a church or a mosque or a temple, same story. I could not care less as long as the person does not interfere with others' beliefs.
Let’s talk about crime now. And this is where it gets a little more real and pretty sensitive.
In Holland, one of the biggest drivers for anti-Muslim sentiment is the perception that most of the crime in the country is due to immigrants from Islamic countries, more specifically Morocco (and to a lesser extent, Turkey).
So, building on this perception, the PVV has taken it a notch higher, painting everybody with the same brush and embarking on its anti-Islamic rhetoric, using this as a reason.
I am not going to judge one community or the other but I do know one of the basic rules in dealing with people is to look at the act and not judge the person.
Let’s just say, even hypothetically, that out of 10 crimes committed, 5 are by people of Moroccan origin. (Just an example, absolutely no offence meant to the Moroccan community. Just substitute "Moroccan" for "Indian" if you like).
What does that mean ?
Well, first of all, those who committed those 10 crimes need to be brought to book. And it just so happens that 5 of them are of Moroccan origin – it would make sense to try to figure out what caused them to commit the crime. Is there a systemic weakness, whether in their upbringing or education or financial circumstances or other environmental aspects that has led them down this path. Or are they isolated cases?
It most certainly does not mean that “people of Moroccan origin are criminals” and therefore need to be shut out of society.
Such a thought process amounts to nothing but an insult to decent Moroccan-origin members in society who are painted with this brush.
It does not stop here. This argument is then taken to the next ridiculous level. So it then gets into “this is all because they do not integrate with society”.
To this, is conveniently added as a logical next step “See, the women still wear hijabs”.
All this while the crux of the issue is, or should be, crime and resolving it. Not whether somebody wears a hijab or visits a mosque.
By all means, punish the crime. And then, whether it is a Moroccan-origin or a Dutch-origin or an Indian-origin person, it should not matter. I am sure no community will mind if the trouble-makers in the community are given appropriate punishment as per the law of the country.
But do not generalize and pass community or religion-based pronouncements.
That is playing with fire and can only polarize society further. Already Dutch society is getting fragmented along extremely undesirable ethnic and religious lines thanks to heightened rhetoric over the last few years.
One of the fallouts of this rhetoric and fragmentation in society is the increase in terrorism-related activities reported in Holland. So far it is thankfully still on a very small scale (ideally this should be zero of course).
But if the rhetoric increases now – and is accompanied by acts that are seen as unfair to a community - there is every reason to expect a backlash in the form of increased terrorism efforts.
And that is absolutely the last thing a society needs.
That is the reason most people talk of peaceful co-existence. Lashing out at a community may give a party some brownie points at the election sweepstakes, especially in times of economic hardship, but, at best, it is only short-term electoral gain.
In the longer-term, it is nothing but debilitating.
There are enough examples in the world to prove this point. Divisions in society can run deep and for generations.
I hope Mr. Wilders and his PVV party realize this. I trust they are intelligent people and have therefore been entrusted with the job (if only in a coalition) of getting the country back on track.
So my request to them (and of course the VVD and the PvDA as the bigger parties) would be to just concentrate on the bread-and-butter issues.
The economy, budget deficit, jobs, healthcare, education, crime.
The coalition will finally be judged by the Dutch public on these – and not on topics like “immigration” and “integration”. I hope.
The Netherlands, where I live. Or Holland, as it is more popularly known around the world. Some Dutch people you meet will correct you if you call the country Holland. For them, Holland is a part of the Netherlands – it represents the two provinces, North and South Holland, in the west of the country. And they are technically right. But somehow, for the whole world, the name Holland has stuck as a colloquial name to represent the country. So, for the rest of this article, I am going to take the liberty of also using this name. Much easier than saying “the Netherlands” all the time. :-)
Anyway, the reason I want to talk about Holland today is that we had a rather significant event taking place in our country a couple of days ago, on the 9th of June 2010.
It was the day of elections for the “Tweede Kamer”. The equivalent of the “House of Commons” in England or the Lok Sabha in India.
I am not sure many people around the world were even aware of this. Which is understandable. Holland is just “a dot” on a map of the world. Whenever anybody talks about Europe, they talk about Germany, France, the UK (though I am not sure they want to identify with Europe ;-) ), Italy and Spain. These are the biggies – and though recently people have realized (for all the wrong reasons) that Greece belongs to Europe (and for that matter, Iceland too) – it is invariably the big five that dominate discussions about Europe.
Fair enough. I have no problem whatsoever with this. Even when, on the 20th of February this year, the Dutch Cabinet fell over the Afghanistan debate, there was just a 2 or 3-line mention in the inner pages (actually just on the one page titled “World News”) in the Times of India, the most popular daily newspaper in India. I happened to be in India at that time – and while the news came to me as a shock, it did not surprise me that it earned no more than an inner-page mention.
However blissfully ignorant – or even uncaring - the rest of the world may be about these elections in Holland, their significance for the resident Dutch person must not be underestimated. Especially given the outcome of the elections.
I do not claim to know a whole lot about Dutch politics and I will therefore not comment about things I am not competent to talk about. But politics has always interested me as a subject – ever since I was a young boy and a state of Emergency was declared in India in 1975, followed by a national election in March 1977 where the ruling, supposedly “impregnable” Congress party was trounced. These were significant events at that time in the country and, being at an impressionable age, I got quite fascinated by the whole thing.
Here in Holland, even with my limited understanding of the political history of the country and limited knowledge of the system, I have enjoyed listening to discussions about issues, party positions on issues, coalition formations and the like. Whether it is the Christian Democrats (CDA), or the Labour Party (the PvdA), or the socialists (VVD) or any of the “smaller” parties, it has always been interesting to understand ideologies and coalition politics.
Recently when the UK was forced into a coalition government for the first time in decades, there was huge excitement in the country and media about how this would all work and whether it would work at all. I, for one, could not help smiling because “coalition government” is all that I have seen in Holland whether it was Ruud Lubbers as PM (CDA-led coalition) or Wim Kok as PM (Pvda-led coalition) or JP Balkenende (again CDA-led coalition).
And not just me, I doubt if there are (m)any Dutch persons who have seen a single-party majority in their lifetimes. That has just become a way of life here, what with the increasing number of parties and the diverse points of view amongst the public.
Coming back to these elections, the most significant aspect of the verdict of the people is , without doubt, the mandate given to the far right-wing party, the PVV, led by the fiery Geert Wilders.
This party, till now a fledgling party in national politics but improving its position in every voting round, has won 24 seats this time !
Just behind the liberal socialists VVD (31) and the “Labour Party” PvdA (30). The “ruling” CDA has come crashing down from 41 seats to 21.
This means that whatever coalition is formed, the PVV just cannot be ignored. For, whether one agrees with the party or not, in a democracy the results reflect the voice of the people. And a fair number of the Dutch voting public has given the PVV a clear thumbs-up.
Now why is this so significant?
Because of what the PVV stands for, in the eyes of the Dutch public.
The PVV (Partij voor de Vrijheid – “Party for Freedom”), formed in 2005, is best-known as the party that has a hardline stance on Islam and all things associated with it. From Turkey joining the EU, to Muslim women wearing burqas or even hijaabs, to mosques in Holland, to Islamic education, to immigration from non-western countries - the PVV has always made it abundantly clear that it disapproves of each of these initiatives. In particular, it disapproves of Holland being home to Islamic practices as it feels that immigrants need to integrate with local (non-Islamic) culture.
Obviously the party has a view on other subjects too but invariably its image is associated with its views on Islam in general, and Muslims in Holland in particular.
To be absolutely fair to the PVV,(and I do want to be balanced in my assessment here), its concerns about immigration are not entirely unjustified.
Holland has easily the highest density of population amongst all European countries (not counting the likes of Monaco and the Vatican). In fact, its density of population is amongst the highest in the world. So it is but natural that immigration policy needs to consider resources to support the increasing population.
Again, to be fair to the PVV, their point about integration with the local culture is a fair one. If you live in a country it is only fair that you respect local culture too.
On both the above points, I see their point.
But I have strong reservations about how they approach these issues of immigration and integration. It seems almost like a one-point anti-Muslim agenda that they are pushing into Dutch society.
And THAT is what I have an issue with.
Let’s face it – we live in such a global world now that almost every country has a hue of multiple nationalities that make up its landscape. Maybe some countries more than others, but this is an undeniable trend of liberalization and globalization and is only likely to increase in the years to come.
It is not happening only in tiny Holland – it is happening all over the world.
In such a situation, the one quality a country needs to have is, in my opinion, inclusiveness.
This is not to deny that each country has its own unique culture, language, customs and all those things that make it special. Rather, it is to accept that people with a different culture, language and customs can be positive contributors to this country’s society and economy and therefore live side-by-side with others of this country.
The keyword in such co-existence is respect. Where there is mutual respect for each person’s culture and customs, where there is acceptance and tolerance in society, there is a sense of community. There should be no need to fear a loss of identity since there is no threat to such identity.
Obviously this works both ways. The host nation’s population will be tolerant of immigrants only if the immigrants themselves are respectful towards, and grateful for, the graciousness of the host.
I agree that this sounds theoretical but that is exactly it – and also the way it has worked in the USA for over two hundred years.
The USA, after the native Indians, has been an immigrant nation for this entire period (and continues to be so). Today they are all Americans but they are of Italian-origin, German-origin, Polish-origin, Indian-origin and so on. They live side-by-side, each one bringing his/her own culture and skills into the US. Second- and third-generation Americans are usually Americans first - yet their ethnic roots provide that cultural diversity that makes for a multi-cultural society.
I am not suggesting that Holland (or for that matter, any other country) could or should adopt this model. The histories involved are very different.
But I do think, as times change, societies need to recognize trends in migration and learn to cope with it instead of attempting to shut it out. Burying one’s head in the sand does not make it go away. And Holland has always been in the forefront of globalization – the Dutch travelled the seas well and discovered new lands for trade well before most of the rest of the world.
Coming to a more practical discussion, what then are the key issues here? Ask the common man or woman on the streets of Holland.
Unless he or she has been brainwashed by the politicians and/or the media, the answer you are likely to get is more likely to be about “real” things – things that matter to each individual.
The economy. jobs, healthcare, education, crime rates. These are challenging times for Holland and for Europe in general. And these are the things that actually matter more on a daily basis to the common man than something like “integration”.
On the subject of integration, and speaking a little bit for myself now, to be honest, I have never seen a lady in a burqa in Holland so I do not understand the fuss about burqas. But even if we talk about a lady with a hijab, it is her personal or religious choice. As long as she conducts herself in society like any other respectable lady, why should it matter? I, for one, don't see a problem.
For those religious-minded, who would like to visit a place of worship for their prayers, whether that place is a church or a mosque or a temple, same story. I could not care less as long as the person does not interfere with others' beliefs.
Let’s talk about crime now. And this is where it gets a little more real and pretty sensitive.
In Holland, one of the biggest drivers for anti-Muslim sentiment is the perception that most of the crime in the country is due to immigrants from Islamic countries, more specifically Morocco (and to a lesser extent, Turkey).
So, building on this perception, the PVV has taken it a notch higher, painting everybody with the same brush and embarking on its anti-Islamic rhetoric, using this as a reason.
I am not going to judge one community or the other but I do know one of the basic rules in dealing with people is to look at the act and not judge the person.
Let’s just say, even hypothetically, that out of 10 crimes committed, 5 are by people of Moroccan origin. (Just an example, absolutely no offence meant to the Moroccan community. Just substitute "Moroccan" for "Indian" if you like).
What does that mean ?
Well, first of all, those who committed those 10 crimes need to be brought to book. And it just so happens that 5 of them are of Moroccan origin – it would make sense to try to figure out what caused them to commit the crime. Is there a systemic weakness, whether in their upbringing or education or financial circumstances or other environmental aspects that has led them down this path. Or are they isolated cases?
It most certainly does not mean that “people of Moroccan origin are criminals” and therefore need to be shut out of society.
Such a thought process amounts to nothing but an insult to decent Moroccan-origin members in society who are painted with this brush.
It does not stop here. This argument is then taken to the next ridiculous level. So it then gets into “this is all because they do not integrate with society”.
To this, is conveniently added as a logical next step “See, the women still wear hijabs”.
All this while the crux of the issue is, or should be, crime and resolving it. Not whether somebody wears a hijab or visits a mosque.
By all means, punish the crime. And then, whether it is a Moroccan-origin or a Dutch-origin or an Indian-origin person, it should not matter. I am sure no community will mind if the trouble-makers in the community are given appropriate punishment as per the law of the country.
But do not generalize and pass community or religion-based pronouncements.
That is playing with fire and can only polarize society further. Already Dutch society is getting fragmented along extremely undesirable ethnic and religious lines thanks to heightened rhetoric over the last few years.
One of the fallouts of this rhetoric and fragmentation in society is the increase in terrorism-related activities reported in Holland. So far it is thankfully still on a very small scale (ideally this should be zero of course).
But if the rhetoric increases now – and is accompanied by acts that are seen as unfair to a community - there is every reason to expect a backlash in the form of increased terrorism efforts.
And that is absolutely the last thing a society needs.
That is the reason most people talk of peaceful co-existence. Lashing out at a community may give a party some brownie points at the election sweepstakes, especially in times of economic hardship, but, at best, it is only short-term electoral gain.
In the longer-term, it is nothing but debilitating.
There are enough examples in the world to prove this point. Divisions in society can run deep and for generations.
I hope Mr. Wilders and his PVV party realize this. I trust they are intelligent people and have therefore been entrusted with the job (if only in a coalition) of getting the country back on track.
So my request to them (and of course the VVD and the PvDA as the bigger parties) would be to just concentrate on the bread-and-butter issues.
The economy, budget deficit, jobs, healthcare, education, crime.
The coalition will finally be judged by the Dutch public on these – and not on topics like “immigration” and “integration”. I hope.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Paas aakar toh na yunh sharmaaiye (Laadla-1966)
Anybody who knows me reasonably well knows that I am really crazy about old Hindi songs. I never tire of listening to them and I spend hours on the net trying to discover old songs that are new to me. Or songs that I vaguely remember from my childhood but have lost track of. Thanks to the net nowadays, it is possible to trace these songs again and to be able to enjoy them, usually with video. I cannot thank enough those persons who have uploaded songs for the enjoyment of others.
Among songs of which I had just vague memories as a child but managed to catch up on the net are songs like "pretty pretty Priya", "aaye baithe khaaye piye khiske", "aankh milaaye na, muskuraye na" and "sau baras ki zindagi", to name just a few. Songs which I have not heard since the age of six or seven. It really does not matter whether the song was a hit or not, whether it is considered a good song or not - all that matters is that it is somewhere in your subconscious and you get a thrill from being able to catch up with it again.
And then there are songs that I discover every day. I am humbled by the treasure trove of music out there. And this is just Hindi film music that I am talking about. Imagine how much more music is out there - it is an ocean. Sometime, I would also like to know more about other music - country, rock & roll, jazz and other types.
Anyway, I discovered this Hindi film song today - totally by chance. And have fallen madly in love with it.
Madly enough to write about it here, with the video, lyrics and English translation. (As usual the translation is not literal, it is more intended to convey the meaning of the song than anything else).
The song is from Laadla, a 1966 film. I fell so madly in love with this song that I decided to - and managed to - see the movie today itself. It is an AVM (famous South Indian producers) movie. Nothing great about the film in my opinion - average storyline, lots of over-acting (not uncommon in South Indian production-based movies) and a rather unimpressive Sudhir Kumar (of "Dosti" fame) as hero. Kumud Chugani is the saving grace - she is really sweet and pretty. I quite liked the songs in the movie though I had never heard them before.
Without any more bla-bla :-), let's get straight to the song.
"Paas aakar toh na yunh sharmaaiye" sung by Mohammad Rafi and Asha Bhonsle. Lyrics are by Rajinder Kishan and music is by the Laxmikant-Pyarelal duo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOW2-4iFACk
Lyrics in Hindi
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R :Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aap ke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R :Sochta hoon main kahoon ya na kahoon (2)
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
Sochta hoon main, kahoon ya na kahoon
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
A :Dekhiye ab aur na uljhaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
A : “wo” ? “wo kya ?”
R : “wo”, “wo”
Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
Samajh lo na…ki “wo”, “wo”
A : “Wo” ka matlab aap hi samjhaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R: Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
A : “Ra” ?
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
Beech mein kaise kahoon, aata hai “ya”
Aata hai “ya”
A : Ye ajab sargam hai, phir se gaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aapke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye
R : O paas aakar to na yunh sharmaiye
Translation in English
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R : Don’t be so shy of getting close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
A : Just say whatever you have in your heart
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : I am wondering whether I should say this or not
Whether I should keep quiet like I have been all these days
A : Come on, stop making it all so complicated
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : The thing is I have got “that” feeling
A : “That”, what “that” ?
R : “That” feeling, you know what I mean…
A : No, you please explain to me what “that” means…’
R : What comes after “Pa” and is followed by “Ra”
A : “Ra”?
R : And, how do you say it, in between there is a “ya”
(meaning “Pyar” (love) )
A : That is a strange combination, sing it again please
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : Don’t be so shy of coming close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
I hope you enjoy the song as much as I did. I do not think it is a well-known song so it is an added pleasure to make this effort to bring it to a wider audience. Also, I have requested my friend Atul to put this on his very popular song-a-day blog. That should really help to boost the popularity of this song.
So sit back and, now that you have the lyrics and the translation, you just HAVE to sing along and enjoy the song.
Boy, it is hard work to write out the lyrics and do the translation ! Atul, respect, man !
And if it is hard work to just write out the lyrics, think of the creative work that goes into coming up with the lyrics in the first place. Respect to the song-writers too !
Among songs of which I had just vague memories as a child but managed to catch up on the net are songs like "pretty pretty Priya", "aaye baithe khaaye piye khiske", "aankh milaaye na, muskuraye na" and "sau baras ki zindagi", to name just a few. Songs which I have not heard since the age of six or seven. It really does not matter whether the song was a hit or not, whether it is considered a good song or not - all that matters is that it is somewhere in your subconscious and you get a thrill from being able to catch up with it again.
And then there are songs that I discover every day. I am humbled by the treasure trove of music out there. And this is just Hindi film music that I am talking about. Imagine how much more music is out there - it is an ocean. Sometime, I would also like to know more about other music - country, rock & roll, jazz and other types.
Anyway, I discovered this Hindi film song today - totally by chance. And have fallen madly in love with it.
Madly enough to write about it here, with the video, lyrics and English translation. (As usual the translation is not literal, it is more intended to convey the meaning of the song than anything else).
The song is from Laadla, a 1966 film. I fell so madly in love with this song that I decided to - and managed to - see the movie today itself. It is an AVM (famous South Indian producers) movie. Nothing great about the film in my opinion - average storyline, lots of over-acting (not uncommon in South Indian production-based movies) and a rather unimpressive Sudhir Kumar (of "Dosti" fame) as hero. Kumud Chugani is the saving grace - she is really sweet and pretty. I quite liked the songs in the movie though I had never heard them before.
Without any more bla-bla :-), let's get straight to the song.
"Paas aakar toh na yunh sharmaaiye" sung by Mohammad Rafi and Asha Bhonsle. Lyrics are by Rajinder Kishan and music is by the Laxmikant-Pyarelal duo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOW2-4iFACk
Lyrics in Hindi
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R :Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aap ke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R :Sochta hoon main kahoon ya na kahoon (2)
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
Sochta hoon main, kahoon ya na kahoon
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
A :Dekhiye ab aur na uljhaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
A : “wo” ? “wo kya ?”
R : “wo”, “wo”
Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
Samajh lo na…ki “wo”, “wo”
A : “Wo” ka matlab aap hi samjhaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R: Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
A : “Ra” ?
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
Beech mein kaise kahoon, aata hai “ya”
Aata hai “ya”
A : Ye ajab sargam hai, phir se gaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aapke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye
R : O paas aakar to na yunh sharmaiye
Translation in English
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R : Don’t be so shy of getting close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
A : Just say whatever you have in your heart
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : I am wondering whether I should say this or not
Whether I should keep quiet like I have been all these days
A : Come on, stop making it all so complicated
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : The thing is I have got “that” feeling
A : “That”, what “that” ?
R : “That” feeling, you know what I mean…
A : No, you please explain to me what “that” means…’
R : What comes after “Pa” and is followed by “Ra”
A : “Ra”?
R : And, how do you say it, in between there is a “ya”
(meaning “Pyar” (love) )
A : That is a strange combination, sing it again please
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : Don’t be so shy of coming close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
I hope you enjoy the song as much as I did. I do not think it is a well-known song so it is an added pleasure to make this effort to bring it to a wider audience. Also, I have requested my friend Atul to put this on his very popular song-a-day blog. That should really help to boost the popularity of this song.
So sit back and, now that you have the lyrics and the translation, you just HAVE to sing along and enjoy the song.
Boy, it is hard work to write out the lyrics and do the translation ! Atul, respect, man !
And if it is hard work to just write out the lyrics, think of the creative work that goes into coming up with the lyrics in the first place. Respect to the song-writers too !
Labels:
old hindi songs
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Mujhe Nahin Poochhni Tumse Beeti Baatein (Anjaan Raahen - 1974)
A while ago I had posted a song "Mujhe Raat Din Ye Khayal Hai" from Oomer Qaid (1961). A song with beautiful lyrics about a man being torn from within by his love.
The song is sung by Mukesh and picturised on Sudhir.
Today I came across another similarly soulful Mukesh song that took me right back to when I had last heard it - almost 30 years ago !!!
This song is "Mujhe Nahin Poochhni Tumse Beeti Baatein".
This song has some of the most powerful lyrics that I know of in Hindi cinema. I know this is a pretty tall statement to make, given the thousands of beautiful songs in Hindi cinema but I do think this belongs right up there, at least as far as lyrics are concerned.
And yet hardly anybody knows this song. Which is one of the main reasons I am blogging about it. It deserves to be much better known (yearh, right ! Like it is going to be better known because of my blog..ha ha).
Anyway, this song is from an obscure movie "Anjaan Raahein" (1974). Somehow it was obscure though it did star Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. I saw the movie in the late 70s/early 80s. That is when I heard this song for the first (and to-date only) time. I had the text of the song earlier in my Mukesh book but this was the first time I actually heard the song.
What impresses me most about the lyrics is that, for a society steeped in tradition as Indian society was in those days (and still is in some respects), these lyrics are way ahead of the times. We are talking 1974 here.
Come to think of it, though I do not remember the movie very well now, I think it was ahead of its time too. It dealt with issues resulting from lack of appropriate sex education in high schools. Quite bold, for the times.
Here is the video of this beautiful song - picturised beautifully on Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. Music is by Kalyanji-Anandji.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4akKkofXlk
And here are the lyrics written by Indivar.
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Jaisi bhi ho tum aaj se bas meri ho
Meri hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe tum se hai itna kehna
Beetey hue kal pe tumhaare adhikaar nahin hai mera
Us dwaar pe kyon le jaaoon, jo dwaar nahin hai mera
Beeta hua kal toh beet chuka
Kal ka dukh aaj nahin sehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Main Ram nahin hoon phir kyon ummeed karoon Sita ki
Koi insaanon mein dhoondhe kyon paavanta Ganga ki
Duniya mein farishta koi nahin
Insaan hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Here is my attempted English translation. As usual, the translation takes a bit away from the original but I am making an attempt to convey the meaning more than a literal translation. So please bear with me.
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
However you are, from now on you are only mine
All I ask of you is to remain mine (forever)
That is all I want to ask of you
I have no right to the past that you had
So why should I lead you to the door that takes you to the past
That past is now behind us
Do not carry today the sorrow (pain) of yesterday
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
I am no Ram so why should I have expectations of a Seeta
Why do people search in humans for the purity of a Ganga
There is nobody in this world who is an angel
(We are all humans) so let us just be like humans
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
Now, isn't everything about it just beautiful ? You wish there were more people in this world like Feroze Khan here.
The song is sung by Mukesh and picturised on Sudhir.
Today I came across another similarly soulful Mukesh song that took me right back to when I had last heard it - almost 30 years ago !!!
This song is "Mujhe Nahin Poochhni Tumse Beeti Baatein".
This song has some of the most powerful lyrics that I know of in Hindi cinema. I know this is a pretty tall statement to make, given the thousands of beautiful songs in Hindi cinema but I do think this belongs right up there, at least as far as lyrics are concerned.
And yet hardly anybody knows this song. Which is one of the main reasons I am blogging about it. It deserves to be much better known (yearh, right ! Like it is going to be better known because of my blog..ha ha).
Anyway, this song is from an obscure movie "Anjaan Raahein" (1974). Somehow it was obscure though it did star Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. I saw the movie in the late 70s/early 80s. That is when I heard this song for the first (and to-date only) time. I had the text of the song earlier in my Mukesh book but this was the first time I actually heard the song.
What impresses me most about the lyrics is that, for a society steeped in tradition as Indian society was in those days (and still is in some respects), these lyrics are way ahead of the times. We are talking 1974 here.
Come to think of it, though I do not remember the movie very well now, I think it was ahead of its time too. It dealt with issues resulting from lack of appropriate sex education in high schools. Quite bold, for the times.
Here is the video of this beautiful song - picturised beautifully on Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. Music is by Kalyanji-Anandji.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4akKkofXlk
And here are the lyrics written by Indivar.
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Jaisi bhi ho tum aaj se bas meri ho
Meri hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe tum se hai itna kehna
Beetey hue kal pe tumhaare adhikaar nahin hai mera
Us dwaar pe kyon le jaaoon, jo dwaar nahin hai mera
Beeta hua kal toh beet chuka
Kal ka dukh aaj nahin sehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Main Ram nahin hoon phir kyon ummeed karoon Sita ki
Koi insaanon mein dhoondhe kyon paavanta Ganga ki
Duniya mein farishta koi nahin
Insaan hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Here is my attempted English translation. As usual, the translation takes a bit away from the original but I am making an attempt to convey the meaning more than a literal translation. So please bear with me.
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
However you are, from now on you are only mine
All I ask of you is to remain mine (forever)
That is all I want to ask of you
I have no right to the past that you had
So why should I lead you to the door that takes you to the past
That past is now behind us
Do not carry today the sorrow (pain) of yesterday
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
I am no Ram so why should I have expectations of a Seeta
Why do people search in humans for the purity of a Ganga
There is nobody in this world who is an angel
(We are all humans) so let us just be like humans
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
Now, isn't everything about it just beautiful ? You wish there were more people in this world like Feroze Khan here.
Labels:
old hindi songs
Monday, May 17, 2010
M&M Anand : "I want to destroy everybody"
Meira storms into the living room, all agitated.
Raj, on the computer, looks up for a moment – and then gets back it, saying to himself “If there is something to know, she will tell me anyway. And if there is not, no point in asking, is there ?”. Simple logic that he has used – successfully for fifteen years.
“Raj, WHAT have you been teaching Rohit ?”
“Nothing…. Well, I did sit with him for math a few days ago but that was because you wanted me to. Why, he hasn’t flunked it, has he ?”
“I am not talking about math. I am talking about something else.”
Raj, realizing that this was not going to go away easily “Now what?”
“Rohit has just come back from playing with his friends.”
“And…there is a problem with that ?” These things could go on and on.
“No…I mean yes…I mean, he has come back with bruises - on his hands and legs.”
“Oh.”
“Is that all you can say ? Oh ?”
“Come on, he goes to play football every day…you get these little things every now
and then.”
“That is so typically you !!! You don’t really care, do you ? How do you know this is not serious ?”
“Because, honey, if this had been serious, we would not be talking here, would we ?”
“Thank God, it is not serious. I have taken care of it. Anyway, what have you been teaching him ?”
“I have NO clue what you are talking about !”
“You cannot just get away acting like you’ve done nothing…you have obviously been telling Rohit something.”
“Honey, this is getting really tiring. Where IS Rohit, by the way ?”
“He is in his room doing his homework. Anyway, today he looked really badly beaten up…when I asked him what happened, he said “I beat up those guys like Dad told me to - and they got together and beat me up”.
Raj looks uncomfortable. “I need to tell my son to keep my name out of all conversation with his mom” he mutters under his breath.
“So you want to explain ? What have you been teaching him ?”
“Hey, I did not tell him to go about beating people up !”
“ So what DID you tell him ?”
“Well, I may have just told him something like “don’t let anybody tell you that you are not good”. Something like that. ”
“So ?”
“And maybe he took that a bit literally. Somebody may have said something and he may have got into a scrap.”
“Looked like more than a scrap to me. Why do you even talk to him ?”
“WHAT ? YOU are the one who always says I should spend more time with him. He came
to me saying his friends were making fun of him, that he was not good at football, so I said – very encouragingly – “don’t let anybody tell you you are not good”. Just nice fatherly advice.”
Meira is not convinced – her look says it all.
Raj now feels a strong need to defend himself.
“Or what would you rather have ? That I just tell him to let it be…that he does nothing and they keep making fun of him ?”
“No, of course not..we don’t want him to turn out like you. Heaven, no !”
Raj feels hurt but lets the slight pass. This was not about him and he was used to such comments from Meira anyway.
“The thing is, Raj, you don’t really know how to handle these things. Instead of talking to him here, you could have gone to the football yourself and told those bullies to lay off him.”
“WHAT ? You want me to talk to 11-year old kids to lay off my son ?”
“What’s wrong with that ?”
“Honey, I have been there myself. You REALLY don’t want your dad or mom to sort out your problems with your friends, trust me. It is upto Rohit to work it out, if WE get involved he will only have more trouble with his friends.”
“Hmm…I don’t know. I think you are trying to escape from this also. As usual.”
“Trust me…he will be fine. You worry too much about him”.
“That’s because you worry too little. You don’t even know which friends he mixes with.”
“Must be his schoolfriends. And the ones in this apartment block. Who else ?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I really get worried. The other day he came to me and said “Mama, I want to destroy everybody”.
Raj laughed. “Destroy everybody ? That’s funny”.
“What’s so funny ? Your son wants to destroy everybody - and you find that FUNNY ? You are REALLY something, you know. I will NEVER understand you.”
“Come on honey, relax. So he said he wants to destroy everybody. Big deal. Does he even know what he is talking about ? Must have picked it up somewhere in school.”
“And you are not the slightest bit concerned ? Don’t you think we need to find out where he learns such things ?”
“Honey, forget it. I am sure he has himself forgotten it. These things come and go – if you start worrying about everything he says, you will become a wreck.”
“I am sure it is because of all these stupid video games they have nowadays. It is all about destroying, killing, breaking. They should ban all these games”.
“Yeah, you may be right – maybe he picked it up from one of these games. But don’t worry – he will get over it. He is smart enough to know it is just a game. And anyway he will move on to something else.”
“I think you are being too flippant about this, Raj. He is our son and you may not care - but I will NOT allow him to get bad influence at this age.”
Raj is a bit tired from all this but he knows Meira too well to expect her to stop without having the last word.
“So what do you want to do ?”
“We need to find out where he gets all this from. Which games he has on his PC, what DVDs we have, which friends he borrows games from.”
“And then ?”
“We need to remove all that from his PC, get rid of the DVDs, we need to talk to his friends’ parents.”
“Don’t you think you are over-reacting ? Just a little bit ?”
“Raj, trust me, this is a dangerous age for him. Today he is destroying video-game characters, tomorrow who knows what this will lead him to. You really have to stop all this now.”
Raj, suddenly noticing the change from "we" to "you" is startled.
“I have to ?”
“Who else ? You don’t think I am going to sit and go through those game DVDs ? I don’t even know how they work.”
“Nor do I. Honey, can’t we just forget all this ? I mean, he said it.. what ? Once ? If he says it again, then we will see”.
“As usual. You are using your postponing tactics. And you HAVE to fight with me. You cannot even do a simple thing like this. Why do I even bother talking to you ? You don’t even care about your own son…”
Meira’s voice is breaking - and Raj cannot take it.
“Ok, I am sorry, honey…I will get to the bottom of this. You are right. If he is talking about destroying things, we need to know what’s going on."
At that moment, Rohit walks into the room, scratching his arm.
“Mummy, again I am not able to do my homework. Why do you keep the window open in the evening ? Again there are so many mosquitoes in my room now…give me the mosquito racket…I am going to destroy everybody”.
Raj, on the computer, looks up for a moment – and then gets back it, saying to himself “If there is something to know, she will tell me anyway. And if there is not, no point in asking, is there ?”. Simple logic that he has used – successfully for fifteen years.
“Raj, WHAT have you been teaching Rohit ?”
“Nothing…. Well, I did sit with him for math a few days ago but that was because you wanted me to. Why, he hasn’t flunked it, has he ?”
“I am not talking about math. I am talking about something else.”
Raj, realizing that this was not going to go away easily “Now what?”
“Rohit has just come back from playing with his friends.”
“And…there is a problem with that ?” These things could go on and on.
“No…I mean yes…I mean, he has come back with bruises - on his hands and legs.”
“Oh.”
“Is that all you can say ? Oh ?”
“Come on, he goes to play football every day…you get these little things every now
and then.”
“That is so typically you !!! You don’t really care, do you ? How do you know this is not serious ?”
“Because, honey, if this had been serious, we would not be talking here, would we ?”
“Thank God, it is not serious. I have taken care of it. Anyway, what have you been teaching him ?”
“I have NO clue what you are talking about !”
“You cannot just get away acting like you’ve done nothing…you have obviously been telling Rohit something.”
“Honey, this is getting really tiring. Where IS Rohit, by the way ?”
“He is in his room doing his homework. Anyway, today he looked really badly beaten up…when I asked him what happened, he said “I beat up those guys like Dad told me to - and they got together and beat me up”.
Raj looks uncomfortable. “I need to tell my son to keep my name out of all conversation with his mom” he mutters under his breath.
“So you want to explain ? What have you been teaching him ?”
“Hey, I did not tell him to go about beating people up !”
“ So what DID you tell him ?”
“Well, I may have just told him something like “don’t let anybody tell you that you are not good”. Something like that. ”
“So ?”
“And maybe he took that a bit literally. Somebody may have said something and he may have got into a scrap.”
“Looked like more than a scrap to me. Why do you even talk to him ?”
“WHAT ? YOU are the one who always says I should spend more time with him. He came
to me saying his friends were making fun of him, that he was not good at football, so I said – very encouragingly – “don’t let anybody tell you you are not good”. Just nice fatherly advice.”
Meira is not convinced – her look says it all.
Raj now feels a strong need to defend himself.
“Or what would you rather have ? That I just tell him to let it be…that he does nothing and they keep making fun of him ?”
“No, of course not..we don’t want him to turn out like you. Heaven, no !”
Raj feels hurt but lets the slight pass. This was not about him and he was used to such comments from Meira anyway.
“The thing is, Raj, you don’t really know how to handle these things. Instead of talking to him here, you could have gone to the football yourself and told those bullies to lay off him.”
“WHAT ? You want me to talk to 11-year old kids to lay off my son ?”
“What’s wrong with that ?”
“Honey, I have been there myself. You REALLY don’t want your dad or mom to sort out your problems with your friends, trust me. It is upto Rohit to work it out, if WE get involved he will only have more trouble with his friends.”
“Hmm…I don’t know. I think you are trying to escape from this also. As usual.”
“Trust me…he will be fine. You worry too much about him”.
“That’s because you worry too little. You don’t even know which friends he mixes with.”
“Must be his schoolfriends. And the ones in this apartment block. Who else ?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I really get worried. The other day he came to me and said “Mama, I want to destroy everybody”.
Raj laughed. “Destroy everybody ? That’s funny”.
“What’s so funny ? Your son wants to destroy everybody - and you find that FUNNY ? You are REALLY something, you know. I will NEVER understand you.”
“Come on honey, relax. So he said he wants to destroy everybody. Big deal. Does he even know what he is talking about ? Must have picked it up somewhere in school.”
“And you are not the slightest bit concerned ? Don’t you think we need to find out where he learns such things ?”
“Honey, forget it. I am sure he has himself forgotten it. These things come and go – if you start worrying about everything he says, you will become a wreck.”
“I am sure it is because of all these stupid video games they have nowadays. It is all about destroying, killing, breaking. They should ban all these games”.
“Yeah, you may be right – maybe he picked it up from one of these games. But don’t worry – he will get over it. He is smart enough to know it is just a game. And anyway he will move on to something else.”
“I think you are being too flippant about this, Raj. He is our son and you may not care - but I will NOT allow him to get bad influence at this age.”
Raj is a bit tired from all this but he knows Meira too well to expect her to stop without having the last word.
“So what do you want to do ?”
“We need to find out where he gets all this from. Which games he has on his PC, what DVDs we have, which friends he borrows games from.”
“And then ?”
“We need to remove all that from his PC, get rid of the DVDs, we need to talk to his friends’ parents.”
“Don’t you think you are over-reacting ? Just a little bit ?”
“Raj, trust me, this is a dangerous age for him. Today he is destroying video-game characters, tomorrow who knows what this will lead him to. You really have to stop all this now.”
Raj, suddenly noticing the change from "we" to "you" is startled.
“I have to ?”
“Who else ? You don’t think I am going to sit and go through those game DVDs ? I don’t even know how they work.”
“Nor do I. Honey, can’t we just forget all this ? I mean, he said it.. what ? Once ? If he says it again, then we will see”.
“As usual. You are using your postponing tactics. And you HAVE to fight with me. You cannot even do a simple thing like this. Why do I even bother talking to you ? You don’t even care about your own son…”
Meira’s voice is breaking - and Raj cannot take it.
“Ok, I am sorry, honey…I will get to the bottom of this. You are right. If he is talking about destroying things, we need to know what’s going on."
At that moment, Rohit walks into the room, scratching his arm.
“Mummy, again I am not able to do my homework. Why do you keep the window open in the evening ? Again there are so many mosquitoes in my room now…give me the mosquito racket…I am going to destroy everybody”.
Labels:
fiction,
humour,
Mr. and Mrs. Anand
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A bus journey in New Delhi
My recent trip to Delhi has triggered off memories of my life there all those years ago. Those were the early 1980s (so almost 30 years ago) and I had gone from small-town India to one of its biggest cities, the country’s capital.
As could be expected, I had many experiences – some good, some not-so-good at that time - but they were all wonderful from a learning point of view. Later on, I would live in other parts of India, and each place added its share of learning experiences for me.
I've had the good fortune of living in various places in India - the north, west, east and south. I have therefore never really identified with one particular region. My family is originally from, and now lives mainly, in the south. I grew up and did my schooling in the east.I went for higher studies to the north and, before leaving India, was living and working in the western part of the country.
I think I can safely say that although they are all technically parts of the same country - and obviously there is a lot binding them together – they are also very different in their culture, food habits and importantly when it comes to day-to-day interaction, in the attitude and mindsets of the people.
I remember one particular incident in Delhi that highlights this to some extent.
This was during my early days of living in Delhi. I'd been there for just two or three months and was slowly beginning to get used to the place, to get to know the bus-routes, the places to visit, places to eat and so on. Nothing strange, just what anybody in a new place does when he or she goes to live there for the first time.
One day I was travelling by bus from Connaught Place to Janakpuri in the west of the city. It was a weekday and that meant that the journey would easily take an hour, if not more. Anyway, as soon as I got into the bus at Regal Cinema, I surprisingly got a seat and was pretty comfortable.
The crowd in the bus began growing as it moved on and though the bus was not jam-packed, there were soon plenty of people standing in the aisle.
I noticed that there was a lady standing next to me. I didn't quite notice whether she was elderly, or middle-aged or young, What I could make out that she didn't seem like a school or college student.
Now, where I'd been born and brought up in eastern India, I'd been used to offering my seat to ladies in buses. It was a very normal thing to do – men would do it quite often out of courtesy to ladies. Ok, maybe some women consider this an insult to their sense of being equal to men, but anyway it was considered gentlemanly behaviour and common courtesy where I grew up.
So I offered my seat to this lady. She initially hesitated, but then accepted. And I just stood next to her in the aisle.
At the next stop, a few people got down. I obviously did not - I still had a long way to go. When the bus started, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was one of my fellow passengers, a man standing behind me.
He : “Oye, utarna nahin hai kya?” (Don’t you have to get down ?)
I : "Nahin”.(No.)
He : “Kyon bhai, kahan jaana hai aapko?” (Why, where do you have to go ?”)
I : “Janakpuri”.
He : “Kya? Janakpuri? Abhi to bahut door hai. Kam se kam ek ghanta lagega” (What ? Janakpuri ? That is very far off. It will take at least another hour).
I : "Pata hai." (I know).
He : “To phir seat se uthne ka matlab?” (Then why did you get up from your seat ?)
I did not bother to reply. His tone was aggressive, as if wanting to pick a fight.
He : “Achha, samjha…ladies ko dekhte hi ho gaye shuru…” (Oh, I understand… as soon as you see ladies, you start off with all this).
He let out a scornful laugh and some of the guys around him joined too.
I did not say anything. I was beginning to feel embarrassed and was most certainly not interested in conversation.
He continued “Lagey raho is chakkar mein…khoob tarakki karoge betey” (Keep going at it..you will make a lot of progress).
I just ignored him, hoping he would stop by himself. Although he looked an educated person, I saw no point in engaging in a discussion with him. I did not need to explain my actions to him, I thought.
He kept on saying something or the other - “I know guys like you” and stuff like that.
Finally his bus-stop arrived, he got down and I had peace for the rest of the journey.
This incident did make me think though. In situations when something isn't right, I tend to first blame myself. I know that oesn't make sense but I always tend to first think that I must be in the wrong. So I began thinking “Did I do something wrong? All I did was to offer my seat to a lady. Was that wrong? Maybe they don't do that in Delhi.”
Later on, as I got to know Delhi better, I couldn't help feeling that it was very much a male-dominated society. Men definitely considered themselves superior to women. In fact, I'd even go to the extent of saying that many men saw women as nothing more than objects.
That explained to some extent the sexual abuse that used to be a subject of concern in society in those days. When there is such a barrier between men and women, where there is no respect, this is hardly surprising.
Ironically this was at a time when the Prime Minister of India, living in the heart of Delhi, was Indira Gandhi, a very strong woman.
I know that by narrating this story I am treading on dangerous ground here. This was an experience I had in Delhi almost 30 years ago. Things may well be very different now. Also, it is not fair to give Delhi a bad name based on one isolated experience. I certainly do not want to generalize.
But I must also say that I've never had this in any of the other places I have lived. Offering my seat in a bus has been a very common practice for me – I still do it in Bangalore. I have done it in Bombay (Mumbai),in Hyderabad - no problem. I see it as just common courtesy and something that I grew up with. I see nothing wrong with it, unless it offends the lady of course.
So, what happened in Delhi? Maybe what was common for me in eastern India was not such a common practice in Delhi after all. I do not recall whether I offered my seat after that in Delhi though, in hindsight, maybe I should have. To see whether it was really just an isolated experience or whether there was more to it.
Anyway, pleasant or unpleasant, it made for an interesting experience, if nothing else.
And has remained somewhere at the back of my mind all these years.
And finally found a mention here on my blog. :-)
As could be expected, I had many experiences – some good, some not-so-good at that time - but they were all wonderful from a learning point of view. Later on, I would live in other parts of India, and each place added its share of learning experiences for me.
I've had the good fortune of living in various places in India - the north, west, east and south. I have therefore never really identified with one particular region. My family is originally from, and now lives mainly, in the south. I grew up and did my schooling in the east.I went for higher studies to the north and, before leaving India, was living and working in the western part of the country.
I think I can safely say that although they are all technically parts of the same country - and obviously there is a lot binding them together – they are also very different in their culture, food habits and importantly when it comes to day-to-day interaction, in the attitude and mindsets of the people.
I remember one particular incident in Delhi that highlights this to some extent.
This was during my early days of living in Delhi. I'd been there for just two or three months and was slowly beginning to get used to the place, to get to know the bus-routes, the places to visit, places to eat and so on. Nothing strange, just what anybody in a new place does when he or she goes to live there for the first time.
One day I was travelling by bus from Connaught Place to Janakpuri in the west of the city. It was a weekday and that meant that the journey would easily take an hour, if not more. Anyway, as soon as I got into the bus at Regal Cinema, I surprisingly got a seat and was pretty comfortable.
The crowd in the bus began growing as it moved on and though the bus was not jam-packed, there were soon plenty of people standing in the aisle.
I noticed that there was a lady standing next to me. I didn't quite notice whether she was elderly, or middle-aged or young, What I could make out that she didn't seem like a school or college student.
Now, where I'd been born and brought up in eastern India, I'd been used to offering my seat to ladies in buses. It was a very normal thing to do – men would do it quite often out of courtesy to ladies. Ok, maybe some women consider this an insult to their sense of being equal to men, but anyway it was considered gentlemanly behaviour and common courtesy where I grew up.
So I offered my seat to this lady. She initially hesitated, but then accepted. And I just stood next to her in the aisle.
At the next stop, a few people got down. I obviously did not - I still had a long way to go. When the bus started, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was one of my fellow passengers, a man standing behind me.
He : “Oye, utarna nahin hai kya?” (Don’t you have to get down ?)
I : "Nahin”.(No.)
He : “Kyon bhai, kahan jaana hai aapko?” (Why, where do you have to go ?”)
I : “Janakpuri”.
He : “Kya? Janakpuri? Abhi to bahut door hai. Kam se kam ek ghanta lagega” (What ? Janakpuri ? That is very far off. It will take at least another hour).
I : "Pata hai." (I know).
He : “To phir seat se uthne ka matlab?” (Then why did you get up from your seat ?)
I did not bother to reply. His tone was aggressive, as if wanting to pick a fight.
He : “Achha, samjha…ladies ko dekhte hi ho gaye shuru…” (Oh, I understand… as soon as you see ladies, you start off with all this).
He let out a scornful laugh and some of the guys around him joined too.
I did not say anything. I was beginning to feel embarrassed and was most certainly not interested in conversation.
He continued “Lagey raho is chakkar mein…khoob tarakki karoge betey” (Keep going at it..you will make a lot of progress).
I just ignored him, hoping he would stop by himself. Although he looked an educated person, I saw no point in engaging in a discussion with him. I did not need to explain my actions to him, I thought.
He kept on saying something or the other - “I know guys like you” and stuff like that.
Finally his bus-stop arrived, he got down and I had peace for the rest of the journey.
This incident did make me think though. In situations when something isn't right, I tend to first blame myself. I know that oesn't make sense but I always tend to first think that I must be in the wrong. So I began thinking “Did I do something wrong? All I did was to offer my seat to a lady. Was that wrong? Maybe they don't do that in Delhi.”
Later on, as I got to know Delhi better, I couldn't help feeling that it was very much a male-dominated society. Men definitely considered themselves superior to women. In fact, I'd even go to the extent of saying that many men saw women as nothing more than objects.
That explained to some extent the sexual abuse that used to be a subject of concern in society in those days. When there is such a barrier between men and women, where there is no respect, this is hardly surprising.
Ironically this was at a time when the Prime Minister of India, living in the heart of Delhi, was Indira Gandhi, a very strong woman.
I know that by narrating this story I am treading on dangerous ground here. This was an experience I had in Delhi almost 30 years ago. Things may well be very different now. Also, it is not fair to give Delhi a bad name based on one isolated experience. I certainly do not want to generalize.
But I must also say that I've never had this in any of the other places I have lived. Offering my seat in a bus has been a very common practice for me – I still do it in Bangalore. I have done it in Bombay (Mumbai),in Hyderabad - no problem. I see it as just common courtesy and something that I grew up with. I see nothing wrong with it, unless it offends the lady of course.
So, what happened in Delhi? Maybe what was common for me in eastern India was not such a common practice in Delhi after all. I do not recall whether I offered my seat after that in Delhi though, in hindsight, maybe I should have. To see whether it was really just an isolated experience or whether there was more to it.
Anyway, pleasant or unpleasant, it made for an interesting experience, if nothing else.
And has remained somewhere at the back of my mind all these years.
And finally found a mention here on my blog. :-)
Labels:
experiences,
musings - not-so-amusing
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
M&M Anand : A "proper" fight
“Raaaaaj Anand”.
“At your service”.
“What a name…Raaaaaj Anand !”.
“What’s wrong with it ?”
“Nothing…just saying..Raaaaj Anand sounds like such a powerful name. “Raj” as in “rule” and “Anand” as in happiness or pleasure. So Raj Anand is like…what…”you rule over the domain of happiness ?” ?
Raj is silent. Not sure how to approach this.
“Come on…say something !”
“Am scared to. You know how it is…if I say something it will end up in a fight”.
“No…Really ? Of course not..you think I always fight with you ?”
“No..but…anyway, nothing wrong with the name. Raj Anand…yes, I rule over happiness..ha ha”.
“YOU rule over happiness ? Yeah, right ! Your parents must have been really optimistic about you to have named you like this when you were born.”
“Hey, enough fun of my name, OK ? What about yours ? Meira ? It is not like you are a Krishna-bhakt or something.”
“Hey, I do my bit of poojas, OK. I am not like you. Nastik.”
Silence.
“Raj, is this what we have become now ? Is this the level of our fights ?”
“Why ?"
“No, I mean..look at us…even our fights are not proper fights anymore”.
Silence. Raj is not taking chances by opening his mouth.
“SAY something. Do you realize in 2 months we will be celebrating 15 years of marriage ? 15 years !”
“Really ? Has it been THAT long ? 15 years ?”
“Yes..15 long years. It feels like just the other day…I was a happy, free person..before…ok, let it be...otherwise I will get depressed.”
Raj, comfortingly, putting an arm around her shoulders “Hey, it has not been all that bad, has it ? You are still the same…ok, you look a little older…obviously you are not the young person you were then…”
Meira, pulling away sharply “What are you saying ? I am old ?”
“I didn’t say that…all I said was that compared to 15 years ago..”
“Come on, say it…I am OLD…just say it.”
“Come on honey, I did not mean it that way…you are still young but..but obviously not like you used to be. I mean…”. Raj is clearly struggling here for the right choice of words. Muttering under his breath “I should NEVER have got into this..”
“And why is that ? Why is it that I am not like I used to be ? Ask yourself. Ok, let me tell you. Because in the last fifteen years, I have had to do ALL the work around here…bringing up Rohit, doing all the housework, attending to my job, even taking care of YOU because you cannot even take care of YOURSELF…how do you expect me to remain the same ?”
“Honey…honey..it is OK…cool down..you don’t have to remain the same..we all change..”
“And now I am OLD ? Of course I am old..thanks to YOU..”
“Honey…”
“DON'T talk to me..I am SO angry with you…I have wasted fifteen years of my life with you..”
Silence.
“SAY something”.
“You JUST told me not to talk to you..”
“Oh, and you always listen to me, right ?”
She glares angrily at him, they stare into each other's eyes.
And suddenly he breaks into a smile.
“What’s so funny ?”
“Just realized something.”
“What ?”
“You really need to be careful what you wish for.”
“What do you mean ?”
“You wanted a “proper” fight, right ? So ? This...“proper” enough for you ? ”
Meira is taken aback for just a moment – and then bursts out laughing.
“YOU…anyway, I guess now that we have had our fight, I feel much better. Don't get me wrong, living with you for fifteen years HAS been a nightmare but …DON’T SAY IT !”.
“I wasn’t going to say anything…”
“Yeah, right ! You were going to say “likewise””.
“I so wasn’t ! Wouldn’t DREAM of SAYING it...even if I thought it..” Ducks to avoid a pillow coming in his direction.
“So we’re good ?”
“Yeah, yeah…I guess we are. Though a hot, strong coffee would make us better than good. It would make us awesome”.
“Coming up, ma’am. Rightaway”.
“At your service”.
“What a name…Raaaaaj Anand !”.
“What’s wrong with it ?”
“Nothing…just saying..Raaaaj Anand sounds like such a powerful name. “Raj” as in “rule” and “Anand” as in happiness or pleasure. So Raj Anand is like…what…”you rule over the domain of happiness ?” ?
Raj is silent. Not sure how to approach this.
“Come on…say something !”
“Am scared to. You know how it is…if I say something it will end up in a fight”.
“No…Really ? Of course not..you think I always fight with you ?”
“No..but…anyway, nothing wrong with the name. Raj Anand…yes, I rule over happiness..ha ha”.
“YOU rule over happiness ? Yeah, right ! Your parents must have been really optimistic about you to have named you like this when you were born.”
“Hey, enough fun of my name, OK ? What about yours ? Meira ? It is not like you are a Krishna-bhakt or something.”
“Hey, I do my bit of poojas, OK. I am not like you. Nastik.”
Silence.
“Raj, is this what we have become now ? Is this the level of our fights ?”
“Why ?"
“No, I mean..look at us…even our fights are not proper fights anymore”.
Silence. Raj is not taking chances by opening his mouth.
“SAY something. Do you realize in 2 months we will be celebrating 15 years of marriage ? 15 years !”
“Really ? Has it been THAT long ? 15 years ?”
“Yes..15 long years. It feels like just the other day…I was a happy, free person..before…ok, let it be...otherwise I will get depressed.”
Raj, comfortingly, putting an arm around her shoulders “Hey, it has not been all that bad, has it ? You are still the same…ok, you look a little older…obviously you are not the young person you were then…”
Meira, pulling away sharply “What are you saying ? I am old ?”
“I didn’t say that…all I said was that compared to 15 years ago..”
“Come on, say it…I am OLD…just say it.”
“Come on honey, I did not mean it that way…you are still young but..but obviously not like you used to be. I mean…”. Raj is clearly struggling here for the right choice of words. Muttering under his breath “I should NEVER have got into this..”
“And why is that ? Why is it that I am not like I used to be ? Ask yourself. Ok, let me tell you. Because in the last fifteen years, I have had to do ALL the work around here…bringing up Rohit, doing all the housework, attending to my job, even taking care of YOU because you cannot even take care of YOURSELF…how do you expect me to remain the same ?”
“Honey…honey..it is OK…cool down..you don’t have to remain the same..we all change..”
“And now I am OLD ? Of course I am old..thanks to YOU..”
“Honey…”
“DON'T talk to me..I am SO angry with you…I have wasted fifteen years of my life with you..”
Silence.
“SAY something”.
“You JUST told me not to talk to you..”
“Oh, and you always listen to me, right ?”
She glares angrily at him, they stare into each other's eyes.
And suddenly he breaks into a smile.
“What’s so funny ?”
“Just realized something.”
“What ?”
“You really need to be careful what you wish for.”
“What do you mean ?”
“You wanted a “proper” fight, right ? So ? This...“proper” enough for you ? ”
Meira is taken aback for just a moment – and then bursts out laughing.
“YOU…anyway, I guess now that we have had our fight, I feel much better. Don't get me wrong, living with you for fifteen years HAS been a nightmare but …DON’T SAY IT !”.
“I wasn’t going to say anything…”
“Yeah, right ! You were going to say “likewise””.
“I so wasn’t ! Wouldn’t DREAM of SAYING it...even if I thought it..” Ducks to avoid a pillow coming in his direction.
“So we’re good ?”
“Yeah, yeah…I guess we are. Though a hot, strong coffee would make us better than good. It would make us awesome”.
“Coming up, ma’am. Rightaway”.
Labels:
fiction,
humour,
Mr. and Mrs. Anand
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