I think I can already visualise some eyebrows going up. :-)
Raja talking about Valentine's Day? Hmmm...
I am not even going to try to understand what people are making out of this but it is a fact that tomorrow IS 14th February.
In other words, Valentine’s Day.
Once again a certain section of the world’s population will be warming to the occasion.
And another, a vastly larger section, will go about its business, completely indifferent and, most likely, unaware of the occasion.
It is a fact that, though awareness about Valentine’s Day has, over the years, increased around the world, it still has a long way to go, to get anywhere close to even Easter, let alone Christmas, in terms of awareness and celebration.
I quite like Valentine's Day. There, I've said it! :-) Yes, I quite like it.
When I was growing up in India, all I knew about Valentine's Day was that it was on the 14th of February and it vaguely had something to do with love. That was it! I know it sounds hugely unromantic but that was the level of awareness for me in the 1970s and early 80s about this occasion. Maybe it would have been different if I'd been growing up in a city but I think, in general, India was not particularly valentined in those days. (Oh, what have I missed! ;-) ).
As with any other occasion, there is a history attached to Valentine’s Day too. But over the years – and certainly with the spread of the concept around the world – the history has taken a backseat and the symbolism of the day has taken centerstage in people’s minds.
I think it is safe to say that today, when one thinks of Valentine’s Day, it means one thing in most people’s minds. A day when their love for their nearest and dearest one(s) is supposed to overflow. Explicitly.
That explains the numerous manifestations of love that can be seen on Valentine’s Day. It could be as big a deal as a marriage proposal (often colloquially referred to as “popping the big question”). Or something less relationship-redefining as a box of chocolates or flowers or jewellery or cards or poetry. It could be just about anything that indicates a special bond of love or caring between two persons.
I may be wrong but I think that, in the past, Valentine’s Day was specifically meant to be about lovers or couples expressing their love for each other. Over the years, however, this seems to have been expanded to a broader, more “generic” concept of love and nowadays it is not at all uncommon to see Valentine’s Day greetings between persons who are just extremely close to each other, without having a lover or partner relationship.
To be honest, I quite like the broader concept although many critics of Valentine’s Day (and there are many out there) argue that this is entirely in keeping with commercialization of every occasion nowadays to make more people spend more money. The more people who get into the Valentine’s Day scheme of things, the better it is for commerce and business, they argue.
I personally see nothing wrong with this. Yes, so there could well be a commercial aspect to all this. But at the end of the day it is about feelings. About warm feelings towards another person. And that can never be a bad thing, in my opinion.
Let’s look at it this way. A lot of people struggle to express their feelings towards another person. Ironically, for most people, positive feelings seem to be even more difficult to bring across than negative feelings. Often the body language goes into overdrive in a negative setting, or, one just vents one’s feelings without holding back.
It is somehow different when you want to express love or affection towards another person. Not everybody is comfortable doing this. I tend to think a lot of misunderstandings arise between two persons, not because of their being negative towards each other, but purely because of their inability to communicate their positive feelings towards each other.
And that is a real pity because most people, deep down, love to be loved. Or at least liked. And they are. It is just that people haven’t worked out yet a method to work past their inhibitions. Besides, for a lot of people, especially men, this seems to be even more difficult because, for some reason, it is considered a weakness or even “unmanly” in some societies to show a softer side to your personality. Even hugging somebody (now better known as “jaadu ki jhappi” in many parts of India, thanks to the blockbuster film Munnabhai MBBS) seems to be something not many are easily comfortable with.
Considering all this, I personally think Valentine’s day, in its broadest application, is a very good thing. It allows people to open up a bit, it gives them an opportunity to share their feelings with another person.
Yes, it can be argued that this feeling should be present throughout the year and not on just one day alone. True, but then the same argument could be put forth for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, World Peace Day, World Anti-Corruption Day and every other such occasion we try to commemorate on a single day every year. It is not about expressing the feeling only on THAT day, it is about marking a particular day of the year to remind all of us of the importance of that sentiment.
Besides, I am sure nobody will argue that we live in a world where we could do with more love, affection and caring between people. And surely if more people buy into this, it cannot be a bad thing. And if that means setting aside a particular day of the year to remind people of this, so be it! And if it means commerce flourishes with the sale of more flowers or chocolates or jewellery or other gifts, so be it! When this is money spent on somebody you love, surely it’s got to be money well-spent?
Which brings me to another point. The problem that a lot of people have with Valentine’s Day is the “gift” side of it. Just figuring out what gift to give can be a major cause of stress. Some people even jokingly say that Valentine’s Day is when a relationship is most likely to break because the gift becomes the deal-breaker. All I can say to that is, if the GIFT is what has been keeping the relationship going in the first place, then it is probably best that the deal does get broken.
In a sense, this is a smaller version of the bigger Christmas issue where people get extremely stressed out over Christmas presents. You’ve got to get something for everybody in the family, everybody’s doing it, you are not even sure who likes what, maybe you are getting something the person already has – oh, it is one hell of a nightmare!
It is. The post-Christmas returns at any store are a good testimony to the fact that the process of giving gifts at Christmas has more to do with obligation between two parties than ANY understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes. :-) It is all very well-intentioned of course but it still goes all horribly wrong.
Ideally Christmas should be about the spirit and not about the gifts. And it is the same with Valentine’s Day. It is about the feeling and not about the gift per se. I think I speak for most people when I say this but I really couldn’t care less if anybody did not ever give me any material gift on any occasion – a genuine, felt-from-the-heart “thinking about you today” message would mean more to me than a material gift given as an obligation.
So that’s how simple it is. I think it is a WONDERFUL occasion to mark a WONDERFUL emotion. And, importantly, it does NOT have to cause stress.
So, here’s wishing all those close to my heart, a very happy Valentine’s Day!
Am thinking about you – you should be knowing who you are! :-)
About Me
- Raja
- If I can just give to the world more than I take from it, I will be a very happy man. For there is no greater joy in life than to give. Motto : Live, Laugh and Love. You can follow me on Twitter too . My handle is @Raja_Sw.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Enriching experiences, thanks to family and friends
As I type this out, I am acutely aware of the fact that the last post on my blog is dated July last year. That’s over six months ago – and in the blogosphere, that means unofficial blog RIP. There are plenty of blogs out there which have met with this fate, so my blog would have been in pretty good company.
It may still be. Yes, even as I am typing this out, I am not sure I will be posting it to the blog. I did make a start with a new post a few months back but it proved to be a false start The post was in an advanced stage of completion but, inexplicably, I stopped at the eight-yard mark. I could just not bring myself to go that ninth yard. What’s more, I just deleted it immediately, so it is lost forever. So be it!
I probably owe my readers (all three of them, if you allow me to inflate the numbers a bit!) an explanation.
The main reason for this blog being inactive for so long is not for want of material. Given my reasonably eclectic interests (ok, I know they are not really eclectic but I wanted to use this word at least once on my blog :-)) AND my penchant for expressing my opinion without reservation AND my travel to India (which is ALWAYS content-candy for any writer with or without pedigree), I should have churned out at least ONE post in the last six months.
But no, I could just not bring myself to do it. No, it was not lack of material, it was just lack of motivation. Plain and simple as that. I have just not been able to muster the motivation required to put my thoughts down and post them on this blog.
Today, I am making another attempt at this. Let’s hope this post goes the whole nine yards.
Like I said, there’s no dearth of material once I get into the mood, so I need to think of what to pick for this particular post. And I cannot help feeling it is only fair (if for continuity reasons) that I talk a bit about what’s been happening in my life since I last posted here. (Sort of "poochho na kaise maine rain bitaayi"). :-)
I am under no illusions that anybody’s particularly interested – and it does seem oh-so-narcissistic – but I did get feedback once from one of my friends/readers that he (yes, it was a he, *sigh*) got an update about my well-being only from my blog. So at least for his sake, assuming he hasn’t given up yet on me or my blog, I’m going to talk a bit about what I’ve been upto.
That should actually make this a very brief post – because I haven’t been upto much. :-)
The month of August is already a distant memory and come (mid) September, I was off to India. I returned late-November and, within a couple of weeks, was off to the US. Got back on New Year’s day and am now thinking in terms of what next. Probably another trip to India?
I could end my post here with just this but I would like to talk about my trips too.
No, I am not going to talk about how fantastic the Grand Canyon was (and it WAS awesome!) or how cosy a city Boston is (and it IS cosy!) but about what I liked the MOST about my trips.
I have long held the view that there are loads and loads of beautiful places on this earth. Whether created by nature or by mankind, there’s beauty everywhere. You’ve just got to look at pictures that people upload onto the net after their travels, or read travelogues, to get a sense of amazing places to visit on this planet.
Like most people, I do like travelling to new places to get a feel for what that place’s sights and sounds are like, what its culture or history or people have to offer.
But I will admit that there is one thing I place higher than travel in my priorities – and that is spending time with family and friends.
Now if I could combine both, meaning I get to meet family and/or friends AND we travel together someplace, THAT, to me would be my best combination. But short of that, if I HAD to pick between family/friends on one hand and travel on another, I’d go with family/friends.
Having said that, I can fully understand another person having a different priority than me (especially in today’s skyped-world where you do get to “see” and “meet” family/friends online so easily). But to me, I REALLY treasure the time I spend “physically” with my family/friends.
The reason I’ve gone to great lengths to talk about this is because THIS was the highlight of both my recent trips – to India and to the US.
Usually when I fly to India, I land directly in my home city, Bangalore. There is no direct Amsterdam-Bangalore flight yet, so I need to make one stop somewhere enroute anyway. This is usually Paris or London or Frankfurt or Dubai (all of which have direct flights to Bangalore). The alternative is to fly into Mumbai or Delhi and take a connecting domestic flight to Bangalore. I have done ALL of these combinations (yes, I’ve travelled to India SO many times over the years!) but I soon settled on the “change flight outside India and land straight in Bangalore” as my preferred option. It takes less time overall (the flight connections in Europe are very decently scheduled), plus, you just check in your luggage in Amsterdam (Schiphol) and collect it in Bangalore.
This time, I flew into Mumbai instead. The reason was that I wanted to meet a schoolmate friend of mine who happens to live in Mumbai now. We’d lost contact with each other and, as fate (or a Bollywood script) would have it, just a few days before I booked my flight to India he suddenly got into contact with me, totally out of the blue, leaving a comment on my blog! (So my blog has been of SOME value at least!).
Anyway, the moment I learnt that he was based in Mumbai, I booked my flight to Mumbai, making sure I’d land on a Sunday (a holiday for him) and that too at a not-inconvenient hour (about 11.00 in the morning). I know he wouldn’t mind if I’d landed at 2.00 a.m at his place but I hate putting other people (however close they are) to any sort of inconvenience, so Sunday morning 11.00 a.m it was.
My flight to Bangalore was at about 7.00 p.m that evening, so we got a few hours together to catch up. You never have enough time on such occasions but I am glad for whatever time we did get together because it was absolutely fantastic. I also got to meet his wife for the first time and had an excellent lunch at his place.
In Bangalore, I got to catch up with another friend of mine who had moved to Bangalore only recently from Pune. He is an extremely interesting guy, with very wide-ranging interests that he can talk about (and one can listen to) for hours.
We had not met for about 6 years and only recently re-established contact
through social networking. It was another very memorable experience, what with meeting his wife and two kids too. Again here I got the feeling that
time just flies when you are having a great time.
Then, on this India trip of mine, I went to Nagpur. Yes, Nagpur. In Central India. Now even hardcore Nagpuris (is that how people of Nagpur are called?) will admit that Nagpur would rarely find its place on any tourist’s itinerary. Having visited the place now, I do think this is a bit unfair because it does have a certain charm that could appeal to a certain type of person. Me.
Nagpur reminded me a lot of the town close to where I grew up in Eastern India. The same laidback attitude, the same friendly people, the same type of railway station and downtown atmosphere – and I daresay, without meaning to offend Nagpuris, the same type of potholes in roads too in many places.
Well, I went to Nagpur for one reason and one reason alone. To meet a couple of my friends. One of them, A, lives in Nagpur, the other, R , lives in the UK but happened to be in Nagpur at that time to spend time with his and his wife’s family (both Nagpur-based).
The three of us had never met each other though we’d known each other for over five years! What had brought us together was our biggest common interest – cricket. All of us display varying degrees of madness when it comes to cricket – and our forum has seen countless discussions between us as we’ve lived the topsy-turvy life of an Indian cricket fan.
Additionally all of us are very much into old Hindi songs – A has his own blog where he posts gems of yesteryear (many forgotten with the passage of time) every single day.
I stayed with R and his family and we met up with A one evening. I know I am repeating my adjectives here but I will stay with “memorable” to describe that evening.
While in Nagpur, I also made new friends because R’s wife had invited her closest friend over from Mumbai to Nagpur that same extended weekend. So she, her husband and kid also landed up.
It was one big party! We had SO much fun, it can only be experienced, it cannot be described. I believe, in order to have fun in a group, you need like-minded people. Even one person can spoil the fun if he/she does not feel comfortable in the group (this could lead to other group members ending up feeling uncomfortable too).
In our case, we were all the masti type, so there were no inhibitions or formalities. We did lots of sightseeing in and around Nagpur, we had a picnic at a lovely lake, we played antakshari, we played lots of housie, we gorged on food and ice creams. I had a lovely time with the kids too – all I can say is that we spent 3-4 days together but it all went way too soon for everybody.
These will remain among the best moments of my India trip this time, of course in addition to all the time I spent with family. I will always cherish every minute that I get to spend with my family - just having them around is a blessing in itself.
I now realize that I missed out on meeting some friends that I wish I had met. I most certainly have to correct that the next time I am in India.
Coming to the US trip, it was to me also all about meeting family and friends. If I’d see anything of the US, it would be nice – but if I’d just meet people I want to meet and see NOTHING of the country, that would be just fine with me too.
I started on the East Coast. In Boston, to be precise. I have a couple of friends there, G and B, and, although my plans had to change due to unexpected developments when I was there, I had a really lovely time with them.
This was my first visit to Boston and I fell instantly in love with the place. It is a very cosy city, one of the oldest in the US and has a lot of European charm about it. It is also not very crowded - and I quite like that (says the guy who comes from Bangalore!). Boston also happens to have an excellent metro network called the “T”. I loved travelling by it.
The weather in Boston was, for a large part, pleasant - certainly considering the time of year and the comparable weather conditions in Europe, where flights were being cancelled at that time due to excessively snowy conditions.
But, inspite of all the fun I had walking the streets of Boston, I would still say the best time I had was the time I spent with my friends. One of them has the cutest dog on earth, the other has the cutest two-year old kid on earth. :-)
I got to meet B’s wife for the first time – she is also from Bangalore and is really nice. Although it was not planned as such, I ended up staying at their place – and felt really comfortable. I know B also from the same cricket forum referred to earlier – he is another of those crazy “muppets” there, supporting BCCI all the time. (Btw, we always refer to the Indian cricket team as BCCI, the organization that runs cricket in India, and never as the Indian cricket team. There is history behind this).
Anyway I got to watch some cricket at B’s place (India-SA Test series, the Ashes series), I got to watch some movies of a more modern generation ;-) (like “Life in a Metro”) and did some other fun stuff too.
Then onto the West Coast, in LA where I met my two nieces and a nephew, who’d come together to spend the Christmas holidays. It was awesome meeting them, especially because this was the first time I was meeting them outside their “home” environment in India. I will keep this narrative short because if I start describing this, it will take me all night. Let me just say we had a fantastic time, doing an LA-Vegas -Grand Canyon road trip. My nephew and one of the nieces were both very keen on driving, so I did not even get to touch the steering wheel.
My main job on the trip turned out to be responsibility for arranging the music. That greatly suited me because it gave me a chance to play my Bollywood all-time classics of the 1950s and 1960s in the car – something that the rest gamely went along with, albeit occasionally with gritted teeth.
We also made a trip northwards, close to San Francisco, where I met up with one of my cousins. She’s been married more than fifteen years and this was the first time I got to meet her husband! Somehow their visits to India never coincided with mine, so it just turned out to be this way. I’d heard a lot of good things about him before I met him – and I can safely say that they are all true. They also have the most lovely kids you can imagine.
We had loads of fun at their place, playing a whole lot of games and eating a lot of food too. Not to forget the coffee, considering my cousin’s husband is quite a coffee buff.
I also got to meet a very close friend of mine who lives just about 30 min from my cousin’s place. I was meeting her and her family after exactly 14 years – and it was like “yesterday” when we were catching up. We had a lovely dinner at their place, their son has grown into a tall (if typically shy) teenager. I did not get to meet her daughter that evening (she was at a sleepover) but I did get to talk to her the next day on the phone. Again, when I said goodbye that evening to my friend, I felt that time had just flown by and we’d hardly had much time with each other.
But that’s how it felt all the time, throughout my trips to India and the US. The time I spent with my family and friends always seemed to go by too quickly. That is obviously just an illusion and I must say I am extremely thankful and glad for the time I DID get to spend with all of them.
Maybe I am just growing old (my nieces and nephew will nod readily in agreement) but I am beginning to miss people I love and care for, a lot.
Which probably also explains why my best memories of the last few months are not what I saw or did but WHO I spent time with. Considering I spend a lot of time just by myself (and I really do not have a problem with that - it is a matter of choice!), when I DO meet family and friends, it feels really good.
I now need to catch up with my friends back here in Holland. And maybe soon start planning my next trip to India (story of my life! :-) ).
And hey, I DID manage to complete and post this. The whole nine yards – yaaay!
It may still be. Yes, even as I am typing this out, I am not sure I will be posting it to the blog. I did make a start with a new post a few months back but it proved to be a false start The post was in an advanced stage of completion but, inexplicably, I stopped at the eight-yard mark. I could just not bring myself to go that ninth yard. What’s more, I just deleted it immediately, so it is lost forever. So be it!
I probably owe my readers (all three of them, if you allow me to inflate the numbers a bit!) an explanation.
The main reason for this blog being inactive for so long is not for want of material. Given my reasonably eclectic interests (ok, I know they are not really eclectic but I wanted to use this word at least once on my blog :-)) AND my penchant for expressing my opinion without reservation AND my travel to India (which is ALWAYS content-candy for any writer with or without pedigree), I should have churned out at least ONE post in the last six months.
But no, I could just not bring myself to do it. No, it was not lack of material, it was just lack of motivation. Plain and simple as that. I have just not been able to muster the motivation required to put my thoughts down and post them on this blog.
Today, I am making another attempt at this. Let’s hope this post goes the whole nine yards.
Like I said, there’s no dearth of material once I get into the mood, so I need to think of what to pick for this particular post. And I cannot help feeling it is only fair (if for continuity reasons) that I talk a bit about what’s been happening in my life since I last posted here. (Sort of "poochho na kaise maine rain bitaayi"). :-)
I am under no illusions that anybody’s particularly interested – and it does seem oh-so-narcissistic – but I did get feedback once from one of my friends/readers that he (yes, it was a he, *sigh*) got an update about my well-being only from my blog. So at least for his sake, assuming he hasn’t given up yet on me or my blog, I’m going to talk a bit about what I’ve been upto.
That should actually make this a very brief post – because I haven’t been upto much. :-)
The month of August is already a distant memory and come (mid) September, I was off to India. I returned late-November and, within a couple of weeks, was off to the US. Got back on New Year’s day and am now thinking in terms of what next. Probably another trip to India?
I could end my post here with just this but I would like to talk about my trips too.
No, I am not going to talk about how fantastic the Grand Canyon was (and it WAS awesome!) or how cosy a city Boston is (and it IS cosy!) but about what I liked the MOST about my trips.
I have long held the view that there are loads and loads of beautiful places on this earth. Whether created by nature or by mankind, there’s beauty everywhere. You’ve just got to look at pictures that people upload onto the net after their travels, or read travelogues, to get a sense of amazing places to visit on this planet.
Like most people, I do like travelling to new places to get a feel for what that place’s sights and sounds are like, what its culture or history or people have to offer.
But I will admit that there is one thing I place higher than travel in my priorities – and that is spending time with family and friends.
Now if I could combine both, meaning I get to meet family and/or friends AND we travel together someplace, THAT, to me would be my best combination. But short of that, if I HAD to pick between family/friends on one hand and travel on another, I’d go with family/friends.
Having said that, I can fully understand another person having a different priority than me (especially in today’s skyped-world where you do get to “see” and “meet” family/friends online so easily). But to me, I REALLY treasure the time I spend “physically” with my family/friends.
The reason I’ve gone to great lengths to talk about this is because THIS was the highlight of both my recent trips – to India and to the US.
Usually when I fly to India, I land directly in my home city, Bangalore. There is no direct Amsterdam-Bangalore flight yet, so I need to make one stop somewhere enroute anyway. This is usually Paris or London or Frankfurt or Dubai (all of which have direct flights to Bangalore). The alternative is to fly into Mumbai or Delhi and take a connecting domestic flight to Bangalore. I have done ALL of these combinations (yes, I’ve travelled to India SO many times over the years!) but I soon settled on the “change flight outside India and land straight in Bangalore” as my preferred option. It takes less time overall (the flight connections in Europe are very decently scheduled), plus, you just check in your luggage in Amsterdam (Schiphol) and collect it in Bangalore.
This time, I flew into Mumbai instead. The reason was that I wanted to meet a schoolmate friend of mine who happens to live in Mumbai now. We’d lost contact with each other and, as fate (or a Bollywood script) would have it, just a few days before I booked my flight to India he suddenly got into contact with me, totally out of the blue, leaving a comment on my blog! (So my blog has been of SOME value at least!).
Anyway, the moment I learnt that he was based in Mumbai, I booked my flight to Mumbai, making sure I’d land on a Sunday (a holiday for him) and that too at a not-inconvenient hour (about 11.00 in the morning). I know he wouldn’t mind if I’d landed at 2.00 a.m at his place but I hate putting other people (however close they are) to any sort of inconvenience, so Sunday morning 11.00 a.m it was.
My flight to Bangalore was at about 7.00 p.m that evening, so we got a few hours together to catch up. You never have enough time on such occasions but I am glad for whatever time we did get together because it was absolutely fantastic. I also got to meet his wife for the first time and had an excellent lunch at his place.
In Bangalore, I got to catch up with another friend of mine who had moved to Bangalore only recently from Pune. He is an extremely interesting guy, with very wide-ranging interests that he can talk about (and one can listen to) for hours.
We had not met for about 6 years and only recently re-established contact
through social networking. It was another very memorable experience, what with meeting his wife and two kids too. Again here I got the feeling that
time just flies when you are having a great time.
Then, on this India trip of mine, I went to Nagpur. Yes, Nagpur. In Central India. Now even hardcore Nagpuris (is that how people of Nagpur are called?) will admit that Nagpur would rarely find its place on any tourist’s itinerary. Having visited the place now, I do think this is a bit unfair because it does have a certain charm that could appeal to a certain type of person. Me.
Nagpur reminded me a lot of the town close to where I grew up in Eastern India. The same laidback attitude, the same friendly people, the same type of railway station and downtown atmosphere – and I daresay, without meaning to offend Nagpuris, the same type of potholes in roads too in many places.
Well, I went to Nagpur for one reason and one reason alone. To meet a couple of my friends. One of them, A, lives in Nagpur, the other, R , lives in the UK but happened to be in Nagpur at that time to spend time with his and his wife’s family (both Nagpur-based).
The three of us had never met each other though we’d known each other for over five years! What had brought us together was our biggest common interest – cricket. All of us display varying degrees of madness when it comes to cricket – and our forum has seen countless discussions between us as we’ve lived the topsy-turvy life of an Indian cricket fan.
Additionally all of us are very much into old Hindi songs – A has his own blog where he posts gems of yesteryear (many forgotten with the passage of time) every single day.
I stayed with R and his family and we met up with A one evening. I know I am repeating my adjectives here but I will stay with “memorable” to describe that evening.
While in Nagpur, I also made new friends because R’s wife had invited her closest friend over from Mumbai to Nagpur that same extended weekend. So she, her husband and kid also landed up.
It was one big party! We had SO much fun, it can only be experienced, it cannot be described. I believe, in order to have fun in a group, you need like-minded people. Even one person can spoil the fun if he/she does not feel comfortable in the group (this could lead to other group members ending up feeling uncomfortable too).
In our case, we were all the masti type, so there were no inhibitions or formalities. We did lots of sightseeing in and around Nagpur, we had a picnic at a lovely lake, we played antakshari, we played lots of housie, we gorged on food and ice creams. I had a lovely time with the kids too – all I can say is that we spent 3-4 days together but it all went way too soon for everybody.
These will remain among the best moments of my India trip this time, of course in addition to all the time I spent with family. I will always cherish every minute that I get to spend with my family - just having them around is a blessing in itself.
I now realize that I missed out on meeting some friends that I wish I had met. I most certainly have to correct that the next time I am in India.
Coming to the US trip, it was to me also all about meeting family and friends. If I’d see anything of the US, it would be nice – but if I’d just meet people I want to meet and see NOTHING of the country, that would be just fine with me too.
I started on the East Coast. In Boston, to be precise. I have a couple of friends there, G and B, and, although my plans had to change due to unexpected developments when I was there, I had a really lovely time with them.
This was my first visit to Boston and I fell instantly in love with the place. It is a very cosy city, one of the oldest in the US and has a lot of European charm about it. It is also not very crowded - and I quite like that (says the guy who comes from Bangalore!). Boston also happens to have an excellent metro network called the “T”. I loved travelling by it.
The weather in Boston was, for a large part, pleasant - certainly considering the time of year and the comparable weather conditions in Europe, where flights were being cancelled at that time due to excessively snowy conditions.
But, inspite of all the fun I had walking the streets of Boston, I would still say the best time I had was the time I spent with my friends. One of them has the cutest dog on earth, the other has the cutest two-year old kid on earth. :-)
I got to meet B’s wife for the first time – she is also from Bangalore and is really nice. Although it was not planned as such, I ended up staying at their place – and felt really comfortable. I know B also from the same cricket forum referred to earlier – he is another of those crazy “muppets” there, supporting BCCI all the time. (Btw, we always refer to the Indian cricket team as BCCI, the organization that runs cricket in India, and never as the Indian cricket team. There is history behind this).
Anyway I got to watch some cricket at B’s place (India-SA Test series, the Ashes series), I got to watch some movies of a more modern generation ;-) (like “Life in a Metro”) and did some other fun stuff too.
Then onto the West Coast, in LA where I met my two nieces and a nephew, who’d come together to spend the Christmas holidays. It was awesome meeting them, especially because this was the first time I was meeting them outside their “home” environment in India. I will keep this narrative short because if I start describing this, it will take me all night. Let me just say we had a fantastic time, doing an LA-Vegas -Grand Canyon road trip. My nephew and one of the nieces were both very keen on driving, so I did not even get to touch the steering wheel.
My main job on the trip turned out to be responsibility for arranging the music. That greatly suited me because it gave me a chance to play my Bollywood all-time classics of the 1950s and 1960s in the car – something that the rest gamely went along with, albeit occasionally with gritted teeth.
We also made a trip northwards, close to San Francisco, where I met up with one of my cousins. She’s been married more than fifteen years and this was the first time I got to meet her husband! Somehow their visits to India never coincided with mine, so it just turned out to be this way. I’d heard a lot of good things about him before I met him – and I can safely say that they are all true. They also have the most lovely kids you can imagine.
We had loads of fun at their place, playing a whole lot of games and eating a lot of food too. Not to forget the coffee, considering my cousin’s husband is quite a coffee buff.
I also got to meet a very close friend of mine who lives just about 30 min from my cousin’s place. I was meeting her and her family after exactly 14 years – and it was like “yesterday” when we were catching up. We had a lovely dinner at their place, their son has grown into a tall (if typically shy) teenager. I did not get to meet her daughter that evening (she was at a sleepover) but I did get to talk to her the next day on the phone. Again, when I said goodbye that evening to my friend, I felt that time had just flown by and we’d hardly had much time with each other.
But that’s how it felt all the time, throughout my trips to India and the US. The time I spent with my family and friends always seemed to go by too quickly. That is obviously just an illusion and I must say I am extremely thankful and glad for the time I DID get to spend with all of them.
Maybe I am just growing old (my nieces and nephew will nod readily in agreement) but I am beginning to miss people I love and care for, a lot.
Which probably also explains why my best memories of the last few months are not what I saw or did but WHO I spent time with. Considering I spend a lot of time just by myself (and I really do not have a problem with that - it is a matter of choice!), when I DO meet family and friends, it feels really good.
I now need to catch up with my friends back here in Holland. And maybe soon start planning my next trip to India (story of my life! :-) ).
And hey, I DID manage to complete and post this. The whole nine yards – yaaay!
Labels:
experiences,
friends,
travel
Monday, July 12, 2010
The morning after
For somebody who has few material desires in life – and is able to be stoic about most things anyway – I must admit to feeling a deep sense of sadness and pain at the moment.
It is the “morning after” syndrome, I guess.
Last night, in a cruel 116th minute of the football World Cup Final 2010, the hopes of millions of Dutch supporters came crashing to the ground.
It is less than 12 hours after the event – and I have had a very good night’s sleep – but the morning is here, and so is the pain.
To be absolutely objective, Spain played the better football on the day and deserved to win. They were technically better, they had better control of the game, they played a more attractive game, they played a far less “physical” game than the Dutch. In every respect they were the better side.
As the Dutch coach, Bert van Marwijk, inspite of being shattered and naturally bitter about some of the referee’s calls, so magnanimously said “The better side won”.
Yes, the better side won. But that is small consolation for the supporters of the losing side.
In football, often the better side does not win. Against the run of play, the less impressive side has one moment of brilliance that seals the game. After that, the only thing that matters is the result. Over the years, Italy has built a reputation for winning football games without being the least bit impressive.
Dutch supporters would have wished for something similar last night. Unfair to the Spanish, but if one team has to lose, you certainly do not want it to be your team. That is the basic definition of the term “supporter”.
One can analyse the match on and on. What if Robben had not missed that easy chance before half-time? Nine out of ten times, he would have scored in that situation. And, when it mattered the most, when the biggest prize on earth was at stake, his sharp brain and quick feet decided to take a holiday? How cruel was that for Dutch supporters?
When I saw that moment, I could not believe my eyes – and it became a sort of confirmation for me that this was not to be Holland’s evening. Earlier in the tournament, they had ridden some luck and even had shots on goal getting in – but this was not to be one of those evenings.
The Dutch players have only themselves to blame. I am a firm believer in the clich̩ that you are only as good as you are allowed to be. The Spanish were good, no doubt Рbut the Dutch, much like the Germans in the previous Spanish game, allowed themselves to be controlled rather than to take charge.
I know it sounds easy from this distance – and I am no football expert – but I do know the Dutch are much better than this. They just need to flow a little bit and then they are a delight to watch. They are not bad at passing the ball around – and their individual brilliance then comes into play.
But none of this was on display yesterday. Maybe it was nerves in the beginning (understandably) – but once you are into the game – you need to play to your strengths. Which is the midfield and the flanks on both sides, where you have some of the best players around – Sneijder, Robben, Kuyt. These were the players I had hopes from – I never really expected much from van Persie. He has been out of sorts all tournament and, though he was marginally better yesterday, he was clearly not a forward, in the mould of a David Villa, who would race past and cut through the opposition defence.
But yesterday the Dutch allowed themselves to get caught in the Spanish trap and, as a result, were never allowed to break away. Ok, they had that one Robben occasion (two, if you consider that second-half opportunity, also to Robben) but for the rest of the game they were playing into Spanish hands all the time. Their passes went to Spanish players, they even struggled to get possession, forget keeping it.
That was possibly one of the reasons for their getting “physical”. They were just not able to get possession of the ball otherwise. Whether it was part of their strategy or not, it made for nasty, ugly football – this is NOT what the game is about. But desperate situations call for desperate measures – and this was about as desperate as it got for the Dutch when they realised the grip the Spanish were having on them.
And that is to the credit of Spain. I really do not want to - and should not be - taking anything away from the Spanish players. They were just fantastic. It was their first World Cup final too, nerves were playing on them too. But they managed to stick to their game plan (I presume it was to do what they do well – just get the passing going, keep possession, choke the opposition, then launch a sudden offensive).
In a way, I am happy that Iniesta got that goal (well, considering there had to be a winning Spanish goal). Iniesta is a really good player, always dangerous - and often gets overshadowed by the bigger names in the side like Villa and Torres. So, although I will hate him forever :-), it is probably a case of "better Iniesta than any other Spanish player".
For whatever it is worth (and only a minor consolation it is for sure), I think most Dutch people would rather lose to Spain than to another country.
For one, Spain is a very popular vacation country for the Dutch. So there are plenty of good memories to remember Spain by.
And then, the all-important footballing reason. Barcelona.
Yes, Spanish football for the Dutch means Barcelona – and to a somewhat lesser extent, Real Madrid. As a football club (and also as a tourist city), Barcelona is HUGELY popular amongst the Dutch pubic. I think it is THE most popular club for the Dutch outside their own country. Lots of Dutch players and coaches have been part of Barcelona’s footballing history. Johan Cruyff, Johan Neeskens, Rinus Michels, Louis van Gaal, Frank Rijkaard, Ronald Koeman, Patrick Kluivert and many more have enriched the club over the years, whether as player or coach. So there is a lot of goodwill there for Spain.
All that of course does not mean that that the pain of ending up losing finalist for the third time in their history is any less.
For the younger generations of today, the stories of the fabulous Dutch team of the 1970s, their exploits in the World Cups of 1974 and 1978 are just stories. In both those World Cups of the 70s, the story is often narrated as “what might have been”.
Yesterday they had a chance to see things set right.
To exorcise the devil of “nearly there but not quite there” , of “so near but yet so far”.
To shed their tag of “best country to have never won the World Cup”.
To share their moment in the sun and their place amongst the champions of the game, holding aloft the one Cup that means so much to everybody in football.
Yesterday, for millions of Dutch, it could have been the moment and memory of their lifetime.
It was not to be.
One can rationalize. Like I have done here - yes, the Spanish were better, they deserved to win. One team had to lose. And Spanish hearts would have been broken, if not Dutch hearts.
Yes, all that is fine. And true. But it still does not take the pain away.
My fingers are trembling as I type this. I have still not got over it. And I will admit to some moistness in my eyes.
I would like to say “maybe next time” but it sounds hollow. Right now, I feel I am not going to see Holland lifting the World Cup in my lifetime. I know it sounds negative and I should be having more confidence in the boys but that is how I feel right now.
Make no mistake, I am proud of what the boys have achieved here – they won every single game all the way to the finals. The only team to do so.
And if somebody had offered me a “losing finalist” place before the tournament, I would have grabbed it with both hands. I (and millions of other Dutch supporters like me) never expected them to come this far. We have seen so much disillusionment over the last twenty years that we have almost come to expect to be knocked out midway.
But now having come this far….having come this close….and to end up with yet another “what might have been”. The pain will of course go away eventually - but for now, it is fresh. And it hurts!
Speaking personally, I feel not so much just for me (this is not about me!) but for so many of my fellow Dutch men and women, my friends. For older generations who lived through 1974 and 1978.
For a large part of the world, the football World Cup may be just a sporting spectacle. But for some, it has a deeper significance.
For a small country like the Netherlands, it means a lot – it is their moment of pride that has been snatched away from them. I am not sure bigger countries (and I come from one myself) understand how much this means to a small country.
On another note, the entire tournament was a dream, it was beautifully organized, the crowds were fantastic, there was tremendous support for Holland in South Africa (if not much elsewhere around the world where I believe, most people were rooting for Spain).
In the end, football was the winner – everything about the World Cup was almost perfect.
And let’s face it, it was great to have a new World Cup Champion.
I would have just liked it to be a bit more orange.
Like I said, almost perfect.
It is the “morning after” syndrome, I guess.
Last night, in a cruel 116th minute of the football World Cup Final 2010, the hopes of millions of Dutch supporters came crashing to the ground.
It is less than 12 hours after the event – and I have had a very good night’s sleep – but the morning is here, and so is the pain.
To be absolutely objective, Spain played the better football on the day and deserved to win. They were technically better, they had better control of the game, they played a more attractive game, they played a far less “physical” game than the Dutch. In every respect they were the better side.
As the Dutch coach, Bert van Marwijk, inspite of being shattered and naturally bitter about some of the referee’s calls, so magnanimously said “The better side won”.
Yes, the better side won. But that is small consolation for the supporters of the losing side.
In football, often the better side does not win. Against the run of play, the less impressive side has one moment of brilliance that seals the game. After that, the only thing that matters is the result. Over the years, Italy has built a reputation for winning football games without being the least bit impressive.
Dutch supporters would have wished for something similar last night. Unfair to the Spanish, but if one team has to lose, you certainly do not want it to be your team. That is the basic definition of the term “supporter”.
One can analyse the match on and on. What if Robben had not missed that easy chance before half-time? Nine out of ten times, he would have scored in that situation. And, when it mattered the most, when the biggest prize on earth was at stake, his sharp brain and quick feet decided to take a holiday? How cruel was that for Dutch supporters?
When I saw that moment, I could not believe my eyes – and it became a sort of confirmation for me that this was not to be Holland’s evening. Earlier in the tournament, they had ridden some luck and even had shots on goal getting in – but this was not to be one of those evenings.
The Dutch players have only themselves to blame. I am a firm believer in the clich̩ that you are only as good as you are allowed to be. The Spanish were good, no doubt Рbut the Dutch, much like the Germans in the previous Spanish game, allowed themselves to be controlled rather than to take charge.
I know it sounds easy from this distance – and I am no football expert – but I do know the Dutch are much better than this. They just need to flow a little bit and then they are a delight to watch. They are not bad at passing the ball around – and their individual brilliance then comes into play.
But none of this was on display yesterday. Maybe it was nerves in the beginning (understandably) – but once you are into the game – you need to play to your strengths. Which is the midfield and the flanks on both sides, where you have some of the best players around – Sneijder, Robben, Kuyt. These were the players I had hopes from – I never really expected much from van Persie. He has been out of sorts all tournament and, though he was marginally better yesterday, he was clearly not a forward, in the mould of a David Villa, who would race past and cut through the opposition defence.
But yesterday the Dutch allowed themselves to get caught in the Spanish trap and, as a result, were never allowed to break away. Ok, they had that one Robben occasion (two, if you consider that second-half opportunity, also to Robben) but for the rest of the game they were playing into Spanish hands all the time. Their passes went to Spanish players, they even struggled to get possession, forget keeping it.
That was possibly one of the reasons for their getting “physical”. They were just not able to get possession of the ball otherwise. Whether it was part of their strategy or not, it made for nasty, ugly football – this is NOT what the game is about. But desperate situations call for desperate measures – and this was about as desperate as it got for the Dutch when they realised the grip the Spanish were having on them.
And that is to the credit of Spain. I really do not want to - and should not be - taking anything away from the Spanish players. They were just fantastic. It was their first World Cup final too, nerves were playing on them too. But they managed to stick to their game plan (I presume it was to do what they do well – just get the passing going, keep possession, choke the opposition, then launch a sudden offensive).
In a way, I am happy that Iniesta got that goal (well, considering there had to be a winning Spanish goal). Iniesta is a really good player, always dangerous - and often gets overshadowed by the bigger names in the side like Villa and Torres. So, although I will hate him forever :-), it is probably a case of "better Iniesta than any other Spanish player".
For whatever it is worth (and only a minor consolation it is for sure), I think most Dutch people would rather lose to Spain than to another country.
For one, Spain is a very popular vacation country for the Dutch. So there are plenty of good memories to remember Spain by.
And then, the all-important footballing reason. Barcelona.
Yes, Spanish football for the Dutch means Barcelona – and to a somewhat lesser extent, Real Madrid. As a football club (and also as a tourist city), Barcelona is HUGELY popular amongst the Dutch pubic. I think it is THE most popular club for the Dutch outside their own country. Lots of Dutch players and coaches have been part of Barcelona’s footballing history. Johan Cruyff, Johan Neeskens, Rinus Michels, Louis van Gaal, Frank Rijkaard, Ronald Koeman, Patrick Kluivert and many more have enriched the club over the years, whether as player or coach. So there is a lot of goodwill there for Spain.
All that of course does not mean that that the pain of ending up losing finalist for the third time in their history is any less.
For the younger generations of today, the stories of the fabulous Dutch team of the 1970s, their exploits in the World Cups of 1974 and 1978 are just stories. In both those World Cups of the 70s, the story is often narrated as “what might have been”.
Yesterday they had a chance to see things set right.
To exorcise the devil of “nearly there but not quite there” , of “so near but yet so far”.
To shed their tag of “best country to have never won the World Cup”.
To share their moment in the sun and their place amongst the champions of the game, holding aloft the one Cup that means so much to everybody in football.
Yesterday, for millions of Dutch, it could have been the moment and memory of their lifetime.
It was not to be.
One can rationalize. Like I have done here - yes, the Spanish were better, they deserved to win. One team had to lose. And Spanish hearts would have been broken, if not Dutch hearts.
Yes, all that is fine. And true. But it still does not take the pain away.
My fingers are trembling as I type this. I have still not got over it. And I will admit to some moistness in my eyes.
I would like to say “maybe next time” but it sounds hollow. Right now, I feel I am not going to see Holland lifting the World Cup in my lifetime. I know it sounds negative and I should be having more confidence in the boys but that is how I feel right now.
Make no mistake, I am proud of what the boys have achieved here – they won every single game all the way to the finals. The only team to do so.
And if somebody had offered me a “losing finalist” place before the tournament, I would have grabbed it with both hands. I (and millions of other Dutch supporters like me) never expected them to come this far. We have seen so much disillusionment over the last twenty years that we have almost come to expect to be knocked out midway.
But now having come this far….having come this close….and to end up with yet another “what might have been”. The pain will of course go away eventually - but for now, it is fresh. And it hurts!
Speaking personally, I feel not so much just for me (this is not about me!) but for so many of my fellow Dutch men and women, my friends. For older generations who lived through 1974 and 1978.
For a large part of the world, the football World Cup may be just a sporting spectacle. But for some, it has a deeper significance.
For a small country like the Netherlands, it means a lot – it is their moment of pride that has been snatched away from them. I am not sure bigger countries (and I come from one myself) understand how much this means to a small country.
On another note, the entire tournament was a dream, it was beautifully organized, the crowds were fantastic, there was tremendous support for Holland in South Africa (if not much elsewhere around the world where I believe, most people were rooting for Spain).
In the end, football was the winner – everything about the World Cup was almost perfect.
And let’s face it, it was great to have a new World Cup Champion.
I would have just liked it to be a bit more orange.
Like I said, almost perfect.
Labels:
experiences,
football,
life
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Epiphany
This will be brief.
Usually my posts are long and rambling – this will be an exception. And may become the norm for future posts too, I think.
Hardly anybody has the patience, time or interest to read nowadays. If you want to say something, put it on video.
Maybe I start doing that someday – when I figure out how to do it. Cannot be complicated.
Anyway , for now, this will have to do.
This has already got to a few sentences and I have yet to get to my point.
That is another thing I need to work on. To get to my point - like the German football team.
No, cancel that. Make it – “like the German football team used to do”.
Anyway, now really getting to the point, here it is.
I woke up this morning with an epiphany.
Ok, that may be a big word and probably entirely inappropriate for what I am trying to say. And I will admit I just wanted to use it sometime in my life. But anyway, better an epiphany than an epidural. Ok, that’s something completely different – edit!.
I guess I HAVE completely lost it. It is only about six in the morning (and those of you who frown at the “only” bit - and I am sure there are some, especially in south India who have got up at 4.00 a.m, taken their morning bath (probably in cold water though they have warm water available), done their morning poojas to various deities, had their lunch and are on their way to their jobs – well, we are not all the same, OK ? Some of us consider 6.00 a.m. part of the previous day. And some of us, even 10.00 a.m. Hey, that's somebody else, ok? Really!
And I just realize I have not yet come to my point.
Wonder how anybody ever managed to have any form of meaningful communication with me. Wonder how I ever passed any exams, how colleagues managed to tolerate me at work.
Or maybe they didn’t. Let’s not go there, that is another can (well, more than just a can) of worms (well, more than just worms).
Staying on subject.(What was it now? I need to think).
Yes, my epiphany.
It is this :
If you are in search of something elusive, it is a challenge.
It is like that video game where every time you think you’ve got the guy, he just ducks you and laughs at you. If you never felt like a loser till then (or wanted a confirmation of your status, as in my case – ok, let’s not go there either!) , this is the game you should play.
But if you are in search of what it is you are in search of? Boy, boy, boy – THAT is something!
It is a totally different ball-game. It is not like one video game. It is like all those video games which are conspiring together, all supposed to make you feel stupid, getting their best “wise-guy? let’s show him” brains together with just one goal – to ensure your wits are anywhere but within accessible reach of you. (What is “accessible reach” anyway? If it is in your reach, it is accessible, right? Boy, I am getting really good at spewing rubbish. Need to apply for a corporate job).
Anyway, so that is where I am now. With my life.
Searching for what it is I am searching for.
Money, fame, friends, social causes, new interests? The only two things I am clear about is that it needs to be fun - and it needs to be on my terms. (Well, I guess these are related in a sense. If something is on your terms, you will tend to have more fun doing it).
I am not sure the answer will come.
It may, it may not. Those video games are merciless – almost like the Aussie cricket team used to be a decade ago. And in life, unlike in a video-game (or some at least), there is no time-out.
But whether I find it or not, the journey is an experience in itself.
Have you ever been lost? What am I saying – we have all been lost at some time or the other in our lives. Maybe a little bit – forgot the way, took the wrong exit, walked down the wrong lane.
But have you ever been really "lost, lost" in your life?
Like “torn within yourself” lost?
Like “mind cannot think straight anymore” lost?
Like “questioning everything I do (or do not do)” lost?
That’s an experience.
And, depending on how you look at it, it can be a lot of fun.
Journeys usually are – the feeling is often more exhilarating than the one you get at the destination. Actually, I am not totally sure I want to arrive. I guess I do want to – eventually – but for now, I will gladly take the ride.
I tell you it is not such a bad thing – to be lost.
It helps you to go back to basics – something we very easily forget when we get into the comfortable rut that life can sometimes become.
It makes you discover new things. If you did not get lost, you would not know of that other path that existed under your nose but you never took.
I am making mistakes every day. Taking one route, finding it leads me nowhere, retracting my steps. End-result: zero? No, I don’t think so. And even if it is, it is part of the journey. Belongs to it.
So that’s it for now. Still searching for what it is I am searching for. When I get to it (or them - there are, I suspect, many things out there, maybe entirely unrelated), I will share further.
Those of you who are clear in your minds, have goals in life, are pursuing your goals according to a plan, measuring your progress – great! Good luck to you, guys. Hats off to you. I sometimes (only sometimes) wish I were a bit like you.
But I know I am not. I am much closer to the other extreme (actually I AM at the other extreme but it is psychologically much more comforting to say that I am “close” to it). No goals, no plans – ergo, no measurement of progress (what progress?).
Ergo also this post and its content.
This was supposed to be brief. At least that is what I intended when I set out to write this. And yet again….
I really need to start working on that video. Granted that would only be a more modern way of spewing rubbish but hey, one has got to move with the times, right?
It took me a while but I now realize it is all about format, presentation, mode of delivery, all the bells-and-whistles (no vuvuzela, thank you!), all that “Avatar” stuff.
And content? Oh, wait – can we copy/paste it from somewhere? Surely there’s got to be a template SOMEWHERE? No? You mean, we've got to actually THINK? Boy, we’re so screwed. Hey, hang on– we can always throw in some more of that flashy audio-video stuff, can't we?
I am SO ready for “corporate”. ;-)
Nah! I think I’m better lost.
Usually my posts are long and rambling – this will be an exception. And may become the norm for future posts too, I think.
Hardly anybody has the patience, time or interest to read nowadays. If you want to say something, put it on video.
Maybe I start doing that someday – when I figure out how to do it. Cannot be complicated.
Anyway , for now, this will have to do.
This has already got to a few sentences and I have yet to get to my point.
That is another thing I need to work on. To get to my point - like the German football team.
No, cancel that. Make it – “like the German football team used to do”.
Anyway, now really getting to the point, here it is.
I woke up this morning with an epiphany.
Ok, that may be a big word and probably entirely inappropriate for what I am trying to say. And I will admit I just wanted to use it sometime in my life. But anyway, better an epiphany than an epidural. Ok, that’s something completely different – edit!.
I guess I HAVE completely lost it. It is only about six in the morning (and those of you who frown at the “only” bit - and I am sure there are some, especially in south India who have got up at 4.00 a.m, taken their morning bath (probably in cold water though they have warm water available), done their morning poojas to various deities, had their lunch and are on their way to their jobs – well, we are not all the same, OK ? Some of us consider 6.00 a.m. part of the previous day. And some of us, even 10.00 a.m. Hey, that's somebody else, ok? Really!
And I just realize I have not yet come to my point.
Wonder how anybody ever managed to have any form of meaningful communication with me. Wonder how I ever passed any exams, how colleagues managed to tolerate me at work.
Or maybe they didn’t. Let’s not go there, that is another can (well, more than just a can) of worms (well, more than just worms).
Staying on subject.(What was it now? I need to think).
Yes, my epiphany.
It is this :
If you are in search of something elusive, it is a challenge.
It is like that video game where every time you think you’ve got the guy, he just ducks you and laughs at you. If you never felt like a loser till then (or wanted a confirmation of your status, as in my case – ok, let’s not go there either!) , this is the game you should play.
But if you are in search of what it is you are in search of? Boy, boy, boy – THAT is something!
It is a totally different ball-game. It is not like one video game. It is like all those video games which are conspiring together, all supposed to make you feel stupid, getting their best “wise-guy? let’s show him” brains together with just one goal – to ensure your wits are anywhere but within accessible reach of you. (What is “accessible reach” anyway? If it is in your reach, it is accessible, right? Boy, I am getting really good at spewing rubbish. Need to apply for a corporate job).
Anyway, so that is where I am now. With my life.
Searching for what it is I am searching for.
Money, fame, friends, social causes, new interests? The only two things I am clear about is that it needs to be fun - and it needs to be on my terms. (Well, I guess these are related in a sense. If something is on your terms, you will tend to have more fun doing it).
I am not sure the answer will come.
It may, it may not. Those video games are merciless – almost like the Aussie cricket team used to be a decade ago. And in life, unlike in a video-game (or some at least), there is no time-out.
But whether I find it or not, the journey is an experience in itself.
Have you ever been lost? What am I saying – we have all been lost at some time or the other in our lives. Maybe a little bit – forgot the way, took the wrong exit, walked down the wrong lane.
But have you ever been really "lost, lost" in your life?
Like “torn within yourself” lost?
Like “mind cannot think straight anymore” lost?
Like “questioning everything I do (or do not do)” lost?
That’s an experience.
And, depending on how you look at it, it can be a lot of fun.
Journeys usually are – the feeling is often more exhilarating than the one you get at the destination. Actually, I am not totally sure I want to arrive. I guess I do want to – eventually – but for now, I will gladly take the ride.
I tell you it is not such a bad thing – to be lost.
It helps you to go back to basics – something we very easily forget when we get into the comfortable rut that life can sometimes become.
It makes you discover new things. If you did not get lost, you would not know of that other path that existed under your nose but you never took.
I am making mistakes every day. Taking one route, finding it leads me nowhere, retracting my steps. End-result: zero? No, I don’t think so. And even if it is, it is part of the journey. Belongs to it.
So that’s it for now. Still searching for what it is I am searching for. When I get to it (or them - there are, I suspect, many things out there, maybe entirely unrelated), I will share further.
Those of you who are clear in your minds, have goals in life, are pursuing your goals according to a plan, measuring your progress – great! Good luck to you, guys. Hats off to you. I sometimes (only sometimes) wish I were a bit like you.
But I know I am not. I am much closer to the other extreme (actually I AM at the other extreme but it is psychologically much more comforting to say that I am “close” to it). No goals, no plans – ergo, no measurement of progress (what progress?).
Ergo also this post and its content.
This was supposed to be brief. At least that is what I intended when I set out to write this. And yet again….
I really need to start working on that video. Granted that would only be a more modern way of spewing rubbish but hey, one has got to move with the times, right?
It took me a while but I now realize it is all about format, presentation, mode of delivery, all the bells-and-whistles (no vuvuzela, thank you!), all that “Avatar” stuff.
And content? Oh, wait – can we copy/paste it from somewhere? Surely there’s got to be a template SOMEWHERE? No? You mean, we've got to actually THINK? Boy, we’re so screwed. Hey, hang on– we can always throw in some more of that flashy audio-video stuff, can't we?
I am SO ready for “corporate”. ;-)
Nah! I think I’m better lost.
Labels:
experiences,
humour,
philosophy
Friday, June 11, 2010
Dutch Elections 2010 - how right are the results?
Ok, something different this time. Instead of my usual blabbering about an incident from the past or an imaginary husband-wife conversation, I want to talk about something very current and real.
The Netherlands, where I live. Or Holland, as it is more popularly known around the world. Some Dutch people you meet will correct you if you call the country Holland. For them, Holland is a part of the Netherlands – it represents the two provinces, North and South Holland, in the west of the country. And they are technically right. But somehow, for the whole world, the name Holland has stuck as a colloquial name to represent the country. So, for the rest of this article, I am going to take the liberty of also using this name. Much easier than saying “the Netherlands” all the time. :-)
Anyway, the reason I want to talk about Holland today is that we had a rather significant event taking place in our country a couple of days ago, on the 9th of June 2010.
It was the day of elections for the “Tweede Kamer”. The equivalent of the “House of Commons” in England or the Lok Sabha in India.
I am not sure many people around the world were even aware of this. Which is understandable. Holland is just “a dot” on a map of the world. Whenever anybody talks about Europe, they talk about Germany, France, the UK (though I am not sure they want to identify with Europe ;-) ), Italy and Spain. These are the biggies – and though recently people have realized (for all the wrong reasons) that Greece belongs to Europe (and for that matter, Iceland too) – it is invariably the big five that dominate discussions about Europe.
Fair enough. I have no problem whatsoever with this. Even when, on the 20th of February this year, the Dutch Cabinet fell over the Afghanistan debate, there was just a 2 or 3-line mention in the inner pages (actually just on the one page titled “World News”) in the Times of India, the most popular daily newspaper in India. I happened to be in India at that time – and while the news came to me as a shock, it did not surprise me that it earned no more than an inner-page mention.
However blissfully ignorant – or even uncaring - the rest of the world may be about these elections in Holland, their significance for the resident Dutch person must not be underestimated. Especially given the outcome of the elections.
I do not claim to know a whole lot about Dutch politics and I will therefore not comment about things I am not competent to talk about. But politics has always interested me as a subject – ever since I was a young boy and a state of Emergency was declared in India in 1975, followed by a national election in March 1977 where the ruling, supposedly “impregnable” Congress party was trounced. These were significant events at that time in the country and, being at an impressionable age, I got quite fascinated by the whole thing.
Here in Holland, even with my limited understanding of the political history of the country and limited knowledge of the system, I have enjoyed listening to discussions about issues, party positions on issues, coalition formations and the like. Whether it is the Christian Democrats (CDA), or the Labour Party (the PvdA), or the socialists (VVD) or any of the “smaller” parties, it has always been interesting to understand ideologies and coalition politics.
Recently when the UK was forced into a coalition government for the first time in decades, there was huge excitement in the country and media about how this would all work and whether it would work at all. I, for one, could not help smiling because “coalition government” is all that I have seen in Holland whether it was Ruud Lubbers as PM (CDA-led coalition) or Wim Kok as PM (Pvda-led coalition) or JP Balkenende (again CDA-led coalition).
And not just me, I doubt if there are (m)any Dutch persons who have seen a single-party majority in their lifetimes. That has just become a way of life here, what with the increasing number of parties and the diverse points of view amongst the public.
Coming back to these elections, the most significant aspect of the verdict of the people is , without doubt, the mandate given to the far right-wing party, the PVV, led by the fiery Geert Wilders.
This party, till now a fledgling party in national politics but improving its position in every voting round, has won 24 seats this time !
Just behind the liberal socialists VVD (31) and the “Labour Party” PvdA (30). The “ruling” CDA has come crashing down from 41 seats to 21.
This means that whatever coalition is formed, the PVV just cannot be ignored. For, whether one agrees with the party or not, in a democracy the results reflect the voice of the people. And a fair number of the Dutch voting public has given the PVV a clear thumbs-up.
Now why is this so significant?
Because of what the PVV stands for, in the eyes of the Dutch public.
The PVV (Partij voor de Vrijheid – “Party for Freedom”), formed in 2005, is best-known as the party that has a hardline stance on Islam and all things associated with it. From Turkey joining the EU, to Muslim women wearing burqas or even hijaabs, to mosques in Holland, to Islamic education, to immigration from non-western countries - the PVV has always made it abundantly clear that it disapproves of each of these initiatives. In particular, it disapproves of Holland being home to Islamic practices as it feels that immigrants need to integrate with local (non-Islamic) culture.
Obviously the party has a view on other subjects too but invariably its image is associated with its views on Islam in general, and Muslims in Holland in particular.
To be absolutely fair to the PVV,(and I do want to be balanced in my assessment here), its concerns about immigration are not entirely unjustified.
Holland has easily the highest density of population amongst all European countries (not counting the likes of Monaco and the Vatican). In fact, its density of population is amongst the highest in the world. So it is but natural that immigration policy needs to consider resources to support the increasing population.
Again, to be fair to the PVV, their point about integration with the local culture is a fair one. If you live in a country it is only fair that you respect local culture too.
On both the above points, I see their point.
But I have strong reservations about how they approach these issues of immigration and integration. It seems almost like a one-point anti-Muslim agenda that they are pushing into Dutch society.
And THAT is what I have an issue with.
Let’s face it – we live in such a global world now that almost every country has a hue of multiple nationalities that make up its landscape. Maybe some countries more than others, but this is an undeniable trend of liberalization and globalization and is only likely to increase in the years to come.
It is not happening only in tiny Holland – it is happening all over the world.
In such a situation, the one quality a country needs to have is, in my opinion, inclusiveness.
This is not to deny that each country has its own unique culture, language, customs and all those things that make it special. Rather, it is to accept that people with a different culture, language and customs can be positive contributors to this country’s society and economy and therefore live side-by-side with others of this country.
The keyword in such co-existence is respect. Where there is mutual respect for each person’s culture and customs, where there is acceptance and tolerance in society, there is a sense of community. There should be no need to fear a loss of identity since there is no threat to such identity.
Obviously this works both ways. The host nation’s population will be tolerant of immigrants only if the immigrants themselves are respectful towards, and grateful for, the graciousness of the host.
I agree that this sounds theoretical but that is exactly it – and also the way it has worked in the USA for over two hundred years.
The USA, after the native Indians, has been an immigrant nation for this entire period (and continues to be so). Today they are all Americans but they are of Italian-origin, German-origin, Polish-origin, Indian-origin and so on. They live side-by-side, each one bringing his/her own culture and skills into the US. Second- and third-generation Americans are usually Americans first - yet their ethnic roots provide that cultural diversity that makes for a multi-cultural society.
I am not suggesting that Holland (or for that matter, any other country) could or should adopt this model. The histories involved are very different.
But I do think, as times change, societies need to recognize trends in migration and learn to cope with it instead of attempting to shut it out. Burying one’s head in the sand does not make it go away. And Holland has always been in the forefront of globalization – the Dutch travelled the seas well and discovered new lands for trade well before most of the rest of the world.
Coming to a more practical discussion, what then are the key issues here? Ask the common man or woman on the streets of Holland.
Unless he or she has been brainwashed by the politicians and/or the media, the answer you are likely to get is more likely to be about “real” things – things that matter to each individual.
The economy. jobs, healthcare, education, crime rates. These are challenging times for Holland and for Europe in general. And these are the things that actually matter more on a daily basis to the common man than something like “integration”.
On the subject of integration, and speaking a little bit for myself now, to be honest, I have never seen a lady in a burqa in Holland so I do not understand the fuss about burqas. But even if we talk about a lady with a hijab, it is her personal or religious choice. As long as she conducts herself in society like any other respectable lady, why should it matter? I, for one, don't see a problem.
For those religious-minded, who would like to visit a place of worship for their prayers, whether that place is a church or a mosque or a temple, same story. I could not care less as long as the person does not interfere with others' beliefs.
Let’s talk about crime now. And this is where it gets a little more real and pretty sensitive.
In Holland, one of the biggest drivers for anti-Muslim sentiment is the perception that most of the crime in the country is due to immigrants from Islamic countries, more specifically Morocco (and to a lesser extent, Turkey).
So, building on this perception, the PVV has taken it a notch higher, painting everybody with the same brush and embarking on its anti-Islamic rhetoric, using this as a reason.
I am not going to judge one community or the other but I do know one of the basic rules in dealing with people is to look at the act and not judge the person.
Let’s just say, even hypothetically, that out of 10 crimes committed, 5 are by people of Moroccan origin. (Just an example, absolutely no offence meant to the Moroccan community. Just substitute "Moroccan" for "Indian" if you like).
What does that mean ?
Well, first of all, those who committed those 10 crimes need to be brought to book. And it just so happens that 5 of them are of Moroccan origin – it would make sense to try to figure out what caused them to commit the crime. Is there a systemic weakness, whether in their upbringing or education or financial circumstances or other environmental aspects that has led them down this path. Or are they isolated cases?
It most certainly does not mean that “people of Moroccan origin are criminals” and therefore need to be shut out of society.
Such a thought process amounts to nothing but an insult to decent Moroccan-origin members in society who are painted with this brush.
It does not stop here. This argument is then taken to the next ridiculous level. So it then gets into “this is all because they do not integrate with society”.
To this, is conveniently added as a logical next step “See, the women still wear hijabs”.
All this while the crux of the issue is, or should be, crime and resolving it. Not whether somebody wears a hijab or visits a mosque.
By all means, punish the crime. And then, whether it is a Moroccan-origin or a Dutch-origin or an Indian-origin person, it should not matter. I am sure no community will mind if the trouble-makers in the community are given appropriate punishment as per the law of the country.
But do not generalize and pass community or religion-based pronouncements.
That is playing with fire and can only polarize society further. Already Dutch society is getting fragmented along extremely undesirable ethnic and religious lines thanks to heightened rhetoric over the last few years.
One of the fallouts of this rhetoric and fragmentation in society is the increase in terrorism-related activities reported in Holland. So far it is thankfully still on a very small scale (ideally this should be zero of course).
But if the rhetoric increases now – and is accompanied by acts that are seen as unfair to a community - there is every reason to expect a backlash in the form of increased terrorism efforts.
And that is absolutely the last thing a society needs.
That is the reason most people talk of peaceful co-existence. Lashing out at a community may give a party some brownie points at the election sweepstakes, especially in times of economic hardship, but, at best, it is only short-term electoral gain.
In the longer-term, it is nothing but debilitating.
There are enough examples in the world to prove this point. Divisions in society can run deep and for generations.
I hope Mr. Wilders and his PVV party realize this. I trust they are intelligent people and have therefore been entrusted with the job (if only in a coalition) of getting the country back on track.
So my request to them (and of course the VVD and the PvDA as the bigger parties) would be to just concentrate on the bread-and-butter issues.
The economy, budget deficit, jobs, healthcare, education, crime.
The coalition will finally be judged by the Dutch public on these – and not on topics like “immigration” and “integration”. I hope.
The Netherlands, where I live. Or Holland, as it is more popularly known around the world. Some Dutch people you meet will correct you if you call the country Holland. For them, Holland is a part of the Netherlands – it represents the two provinces, North and South Holland, in the west of the country. And they are technically right. But somehow, for the whole world, the name Holland has stuck as a colloquial name to represent the country. So, for the rest of this article, I am going to take the liberty of also using this name. Much easier than saying “the Netherlands” all the time. :-)
Anyway, the reason I want to talk about Holland today is that we had a rather significant event taking place in our country a couple of days ago, on the 9th of June 2010.
It was the day of elections for the “Tweede Kamer”. The equivalent of the “House of Commons” in England or the Lok Sabha in India.
I am not sure many people around the world were even aware of this. Which is understandable. Holland is just “a dot” on a map of the world. Whenever anybody talks about Europe, they talk about Germany, France, the UK (though I am not sure they want to identify with Europe ;-) ), Italy and Spain. These are the biggies – and though recently people have realized (for all the wrong reasons) that Greece belongs to Europe (and for that matter, Iceland too) – it is invariably the big five that dominate discussions about Europe.
Fair enough. I have no problem whatsoever with this. Even when, on the 20th of February this year, the Dutch Cabinet fell over the Afghanistan debate, there was just a 2 or 3-line mention in the inner pages (actually just on the one page titled “World News”) in the Times of India, the most popular daily newspaper in India. I happened to be in India at that time – and while the news came to me as a shock, it did not surprise me that it earned no more than an inner-page mention.
However blissfully ignorant – or even uncaring - the rest of the world may be about these elections in Holland, their significance for the resident Dutch person must not be underestimated. Especially given the outcome of the elections.
I do not claim to know a whole lot about Dutch politics and I will therefore not comment about things I am not competent to talk about. But politics has always interested me as a subject – ever since I was a young boy and a state of Emergency was declared in India in 1975, followed by a national election in March 1977 where the ruling, supposedly “impregnable” Congress party was trounced. These were significant events at that time in the country and, being at an impressionable age, I got quite fascinated by the whole thing.
Here in Holland, even with my limited understanding of the political history of the country and limited knowledge of the system, I have enjoyed listening to discussions about issues, party positions on issues, coalition formations and the like. Whether it is the Christian Democrats (CDA), or the Labour Party (the PvdA), or the socialists (VVD) or any of the “smaller” parties, it has always been interesting to understand ideologies and coalition politics.
Recently when the UK was forced into a coalition government for the first time in decades, there was huge excitement in the country and media about how this would all work and whether it would work at all. I, for one, could not help smiling because “coalition government” is all that I have seen in Holland whether it was Ruud Lubbers as PM (CDA-led coalition) or Wim Kok as PM (Pvda-led coalition) or JP Balkenende (again CDA-led coalition).
And not just me, I doubt if there are (m)any Dutch persons who have seen a single-party majority in their lifetimes. That has just become a way of life here, what with the increasing number of parties and the diverse points of view amongst the public.
Coming back to these elections, the most significant aspect of the verdict of the people is , without doubt, the mandate given to the far right-wing party, the PVV, led by the fiery Geert Wilders.
This party, till now a fledgling party in national politics but improving its position in every voting round, has won 24 seats this time !
Just behind the liberal socialists VVD (31) and the “Labour Party” PvdA (30). The “ruling” CDA has come crashing down from 41 seats to 21.
This means that whatever coalition is formed, the PVV just cannot be ignored. For, whether one agrees with the party or not, in a democracy the results reflect the voice of the people. And a fair number of the Dutch voting public has given the PVV a clear thumbs-up.
Now why is this so significant?
Because of what the PVV stands for, in the eyes of the Dutch public.
The PVV (Partij voor de Vrijheid – “Party for Freedom”), formed in 2005, is best-known as the party that has a hardline stance on Islam and all things associated with it. From Turkey joining the EU, to Muslim women wearing burqas or even hijaabs, to mosques in Holland, to Islamic education, to immigration from non-western countries - the PVV has always made it abundantly clear that it disapproves of each of these initiatives. In particular, it disapproves of Holland being home to Islamic practices as it feels that immigrants need to integrate with local (non-Islamic) culture.
Obviously the party has a view on other subjects too but invariably its image is associated with its views on Islam in general, and Muslims in Holland in particular.
To be absolutely fair to the PVV,(and I do want to be balanced in my assessment here), its concerns about immigration are not entirely unjustified.
Holland has easily the highest density of population amongst all European countries (not counting the likes of Monaco and the Vatican). In fact, its density of population is amongst the highest in the world. So it is but natural that immigration policy needs to consider resources to support the increasing population.
Again, to be fair to the PVV, their point about integration with the local culture is a fair one. If you live in a country it is only fair that you respect local culture too.
On both the above points, I see their point.
But I have strong reservations about how they approach these issues of immigration and integration. It seems almost like a one-point anti-Muslim agenda that they are pushing into Dutch society.
And THAT is what I have an issue with.
Let’s face it – we live in such a global world now that almost every country has a hue of multiple nationalities that make up its landscape. Maybe some countries more than others, but this is an undeniable trend of liberalization and globalization and is only likely to increase in the years to come.
It is not happening only in tiny Holland – it is happening all over the world.
In such a situation, the one quality a country needs to have is, in my opinion, inclusiveness.
This is not to deny that each country has its own unique culture, language, customs and all those things that make it special. Rather, it is to accept that people with a different culture, language and customs can be positive contributors to this country’s society and economy and therefore live side-by-side with others of this country.
The keyword in such co-existence is respect. Where there is mutual respect for each person’s culture and customs, where there is acceptance and tolerance in society, there is a sense of community. There should be no need to fear a loss of identity since there is no threat to such identity.
Obviously this works both ways. The host nation’s population will be tolerant of immigrants only if the immigrants themselves are respectful towards, and grateful for, the graciousness of the host.
I agree that this sounds theoretical but that is exactly it – and also the way it has worked in the USA for over two hundred years.
The USA, after the native Indians, has been an immigrant nation for this entire period (and continues to be so). Today they are all Americans but they are of Italian-origin, German-origin, Polish-origin, Indian-origin and so on. They live side-by-side, each one bringing his/her own culture and skills into the US. Second- and third-generation Americans are usually Americans first - yet their ethnic roots provide that cultural diversity that makes for a multi-cultural society.
I am not suggesting that Holland (or for that matter, any other country) could or should adopt this model. The histories involved are very different.
But I do think, as times change, societies need to recognize trends in migration and learn to cope with it instead of attempting to shut it out. Burying one’s head in the sand does not make it go away. And Holland has always been in the forefront of globalization – the Dutch travelled the seas well and discovered new lands for trade well before most of the rest of the world.
Coming to a more practical discussion, what then are the key issues here? Ask the common man or woman on the streets of Holland.
Unless he or she has been brainwashed by the politicians and/or the media, the answer you are likely to get is more likely to be about “real” things – things that matter to each individual.
The economy. jobs, healthcare, education, crime rates. These are challenging times for Holland and for Europe in general. And these are the things that actually matter more on a daily basis to the common man than something like “integration”.
On the subject of integration, and speaking a little bit for myself now, to be honest, I have never seen a lady in a burqa in Holland so I do not understand the fuss about burqas. But even if we talk about a lady with a hijab, it is her personal or religious choice. As long as she conducts herself in society like any other respectable lady, why should it matter? I, for one, don't see a problem.
For those religious-minded, who would like to visit a place of worship for their prayers, whether that place is a church or a mosque or a temple, same story. I could not care less as long as the person does not interfere with others' beliefs.
Let’s talk about crime now. And this is where it gets a little more real and pretty sensitive.
In Holland, one of the biggest drivers for anti-Muslim sentiment is the perception that most of the crime in the country is due to immigrants from Islamic countries, more specifically Morocco (and to a lesser extent, Turkey).
So, building on this perception, the PVV has taken it a notch higher, painting everybody with the same brush and embarking on its anti-Islamic rhetoric, using this as a reason.
I am not going to judge one community or the other but I do know one of the basic rules in dealing with people is to look at the act and not judge the person.
Let’s just say, even hypothetically, that out of 10 crimes committed, 5 are by people of Moroccan origin. (Just an example, absolutely no offence meant to the Moroccan community. Just substitute "Moroccan" for "Indian" if you like).
What does that mean ?
Well, first of all, those who committed those 10 crimes need to be brought to book. And it just so happens that 5 of them are of Moroccan origin – it would make sense to try to figure out what caused them to commit the crime. Is there a systemic weakness, whether in their upbringing or education or financial circumstances or other environmental aspects that has led them down this path. Or are they isolated cases?
It most certainly does not mean that “people of Moroccan origin are criminals” and therefore need to be shut out of society.
Such a thought process amounts to nothing but an insult to decent Moroccan-origin members in society who are painted with this brush.
It does not stop here. This argument is then taken to the next ridiculous level. So it then gets into “this is all because they do not integrate with society”.
To this, is conveniently added as a logical next step “See, the women still wear hijabs”.
All this while the crux of the issue is, or should be, crime and resolving it. Not whether somebody wears a hijab or visits a mosque.
By all means, punish the crime. And then, whether it is a Moroccan-origin or a Dutch-origin or an Indian-origin person, it should not matter. I am sure no community will mind if the trouble-makers in the community are given appropriate punishment as per the law of the country.
But do not generalize and pass community or religion-based pronouncements.
That is playing with fire and can only polarize society further. Already Dutch society is getting fragmented along extremely undesirable ethnic and religious lines thanks to heightened rhetoric over the last few years.
One of the fallouts of this rhetoric and fragmentation in society is the increase in terrorism-related activities reported in Holland. So far it is thankfully still on a very small scale (ideally this should be zero of course).
But if the rhetoric increases now – and is accompanied by acts that are seen as unfair to a community - there is every reason to expect a backlash in the form of increased terrorism efforts.
And that is absolutely the last thing a society needs.
That is the reason most people talk of peaceful co-existence. Lashing out at a community may give a party some brownie points at the election sweepstakes, especially in times of economic hardship, but, at best, it is only short-term electoral gain.
In the longer-term, it is nothing but debilitating.
There are enough examples in the world to prove this point. Divisions in society can run deep and for generations.
I hope Mr. Wilders and his PVV party realize this. I trust they are intelligent people and have therefore been entrusted with the job (if only in a coalition) of getting the country back on track.
So my request to them (and of course the VVD and the PvDA as the bigger parties) would be to just concentrate on the bread-and-butter issues.
The economy, budget deficit, jobs, healthcare, education, crime.
The coalition will finally be judged by the Dutch public on these – and not on topics like “immigration” and “integration”. I hope.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Paas aakar toh na yunh sharmaaiye (Laadla-1966)
Anybody who knows me reasonably well knows that I am really crazy about old Hindi songs. I never tire of listening to them and I spend hours on the net trying to discover old songs that are new to me. Or songs that I vaguely remember from my childhood but have lost track of. Thanks to the net nowadays, it is possible to trace these songs again and to be able to enjoy them, usually with video. I cannot thank enough those persons who have uploaded songs for the enjoyment of others.
Among songs of which I had just vague memories as a child but managed to catch up on the net are songs like "pretty pretty Priya", "aaye baithe khaaye piye khiske", "aankh milaaye na, muskuraye na" and "sau baras ki zindagi", to name just a few. Songs which I have not heard since the age of six or seven. It really does not matter whether the song was a hit or not, whether it is considered a good song or not - all that matters is that it is somewhere in your subconscious and you get a thrill from being able to catch up with it again.
And then there are songs that I discover every day. I am humbled by the treasure trove of music out there. And this is just Hindi film music that I am talking about. Imagine how much more music is out there - it is an ocean. Sometime, I would also like to know more about other music - country, rock & roll, jazz and other types.
Anyway, I discovered this Hindi film song today - totally by chance. And have fallen madly in love with it.
Madly enough to write about it here, with the video, lyrics and English translation. (As usual the translation is not literal, it is more intended to convey the meaning of the song than anything else).
The song is from Laadla, a 1966 film. I fell so madly in love with this song that I decided to - and managed to - see the movie today itself. It is an AVM (famous South Indian producers) movie. Nothing great about the film in my opinion - average storyline, lots of over-acting (not uncommon in South Indian production-based movies) and a rather unimpressive Sudhir Kumar (of "Dosti" fame) as hero. Kumud Chugani is the saving grace - she is really sweet and pretty. I quite liked the songs in the movie though I had never heard them before.
Without any more bla-bla :-), let's get straight to the song.
"Paas aakar toh na yunh sharmaaiye" sung by Mohammad Rafi and Asha Bhonsle. Lyrics are by Rajinder Kishan and music is by the Laxmikant-Pyarelal duo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOW2-4iFACk
Lyrics in Hindi
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R :Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aap ke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R :Sochta hoon main kahoon ya na kahoon (2)
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
Sochta hoon main, kahoon ya na kahoon
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
A :Dekhiye ab aur na uljhaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
A : “wo” ? “wo kya ?”
R : “wo”, “wo”
Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
Samajh lo na…ki “wo”, “wo”
A : “Wo” ka matlab aap hi samjhaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R: Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
A : “Ra” ?
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
Beech mein kaise kahoon, aata hai “ya”
Aata hai “ya”
A : Ye ajab sargam hai, phir se gaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aapke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye
R : O paas aakar to na yunh sharmaiye
Translation in English
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R : Don’t be so shy of getting close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
A : Just say whatever you have in your heart
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : I am wondering whether I should say this or not
Whether I should keep quiet like I have been all these days
A : Come on, stop making it all so complicated
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : The thing is I have got “that” feeling
A : “That”, what “that” ?
R : “That” feeling, you know what I mean…
A : No, you please explain to me what “that” means…’
R : What comes after “Pa” and is followed by “Ra”
A : “Ra”?
R : And, how do you say it, in between there is a “ya”
(meaning “Pyar” (love) )
A : That is a strange combination, sing it again please
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : Don’t be so shy of coming close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
I hope you enjoy the song as much as I did. I do not think it is a well-known song so it is an added pleasure to make this effort to bring it to a wider audience. Also, I have requested my friend Atul to put this on his very popular song-a-day blog. That should really help to boost the popularity of this song.
So sit back and, now that you have the lyrics and the translation, you just HAVE to sing along and enjoy the song.
Boy, it is hard work to write out the lyrics and do the translation ! Atul, respect, man !
And if it is hard work to just write out the lyrics, think of the creative work that goes into coming up with the lyrics in the first place. Respect to the song-writers too !
Among songs of which I had just vague memories as a child but managed to catch up on the net are songs like "pretty pretty Priya", "aaye baithe khaaye piye khiske", "aankh milaaye na, muskuraye na" and "sau baras ki zindagi", to name just a few. Songs which I have not heard since the age of six or seven. It really does not matter whether the song was a hit or not, whether it is considered a good song or not - all that matters is that it is somewhere in your subconscious and you get a thrill from being able to catch up with it again.
And then there are songs that I discover every day. I am humbled by the treasure trove of music out there. And this is just Hindi film music that I am talking about. Imagine how much more music is out there - it is an ocean. Sometime, I would also like to know more about other music - country, rock & roll, jazz and other types.
Anyway, I discovered this Hindi film song today - totally by chance. And have fallen madly in love with it.
Madly enough to write about it here, with the video, lyrics and English translation. (As usual the translation is not literal, it is more intended to convey the meaning of the song than anything else).
The song is from Laadla, a 1966 film. I fell so madly in love with this song that I decided to - and managed to - see the movie today itself. It is an AVM (famous South Indian producers) movie. Nothing great about the film in my opinion - average storyline, lots of over-acting (not uncommon in South Indian production-based movies) and a rather unimpressive Sudhir Kumar (of "Dosti" fame) as hero. Kumud Chugani is the saving grace - she is really sweet and pretty. I quite liked the songs in the movie though I had never heard them before.
Without any more bla-bla :-), let's get straight to the song.
"Paas aakar toh na yunh sharmaaiye" sung by Mohammad Rafi and Asha Bhonsle. Lyrics are by Rajinder Kishan and music is by the Laxmikant-Pyarelal duo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOW2-4iFACk
Lyrics in Hindi
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R :Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aap ke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R :Sochta hoon main kahoon ya na kahoon (2)
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
Sochta hoon main, kahoon ya na kahoon
Chup raha hoon aaj tak, chup hi rahoon
Chup hi rahoon
A :Dekhiye ab aur na uljhaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
A : “wo” ? “wo kya ?”
R : “wo”, “wo”
Baat ye hai, ho gaya hai mujhko “wo”
Samajh lo na…ki “wo”, “wo”
A : “Wo” ka matlab aap hi samjhaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R: Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
A : “Ra” ?
R : Kiske pehle “Pa” hai, aur peechhey hai “Ra”
Beech mein kaise kahoon, aata hai “ya”
Aata hai “ya”
A : Ye ajab sargam hai, phir se gaaiye (2)
Hum sunenge, shaukh se farmaiye
R : Paas aakar to na yunh sharmaaiye (2)
Do ghadi ka saath hai, khul jaaiye
A : Aapke dil mein jo hai, keh jaaiye
R : O paas aakar to na yunh sharmaiye
Translation in English
R : Mohammad Rafi, A : Asha Bhonsle
R : Don’t be so shy of getting close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
A : Just say whatever you have in your heart
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : I am wondering whether I should say this or not
Whether I should keep quiet like I have been all these days
A : Come on, stop making it all so complicated
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : The thing is I have got “that” feeling
A : “That”, what “that” ?
R : “That” feeling, you know what I mean…
A : No, you please explain to me what “that” means…’
R : What comes after “Pa” and is followed by “Ra”
A : “Ra”?
R : And, how do you say it, in between there is a “ya”
(meaning “Pyar” (love) )
A : That is a strange combination, sing it again please
I will hear you out, please just go ahead
R : Don’t be so shy of coming close to me
It is a short journey, just open up
I hope you enjoy the song as much as I did. I do not think it is a well-known song so it is an added pleasure to make this effort to bring it to a wider audience. Also, I have requested my friend Atul to put this on his very popular song-a-day blog. That should really help to boost the popularity of this song.
So sit back and, now that you have the lyrics and the translation, you just HAVE to sing along and enjoy the song.
Boy, it is hard work to write out the lyrics and do the translation ! Atul, respect, man !
And if it is hard work to just write out the lyrics, think of the creative work that goes into coming up with the lyrics in the first place. Respect to the song-writers too !
Labels:
old hindi songs
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Mujhe Nahin Poochhni Tumse Beeti Baatein (Anjaan Raahen - 1974)
A while ago I had posted a song "Mujhe Raat Din Ye Khayal Hai" from Oomer Qaid (1961). A song with beautiful lyrics about a man being torn from within by his love.
The song is sung by Mukesh and picturised on Sudhir.
Today I came across another similarly soulful Mukesh song that took me right back to when I had last heard it - almost 30 years ago !!!
This song is "Mujhe Nahin Poochhni Tumse Beeti Baatein".
This song has some of the most powerful lyrics that I know of in Hindi cinema. I know this is a pretty tall statement to make, given the thousands of beautiful songs in Hindi cinema but I do think this belongs right up there, at least as far as lyrics are concerned.
And yet hardly anybody knows this song. Which is one of the main reasons I am blogging about it. It deserves to be much better known (yearh, right ! Like it is going to be better known because of my blog..ha ha).
Anyway, this song is from an obscure movie "Anjaan Raahein" (1974). Somehow it was obscure though it did star Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. I saw the movie in the late 70s/early 80s. That is when I heard this song for the first (and to-date only) time. I had the text of the song earlier in my Mukesh book but this was the first time I actually heard the song.
What impresses me most about the lyrics is that, for a society steeped in tradition as Indian society was in those days (and still is in some respects), these lyrics are way ahead of the times. We are talking 1974 here.
Come to think of it, though I do not remember the movie very well now, I think it was ahead of its time too. It dealt with issues resulting from lack of appropriate sex education in high schools. Quite bold, for the times.
Here is the video of this beautiful song - picturised beautifully on Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. Music is by Kalyanji-Anandji.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4akKkofXlk
And here are the lyrics written by Indivar.
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Jaisi bhi ho tum aaj se bas meri ho
Meri hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe tum se hai itna kehna
Beetey hue kal pe tumhaare adhikaar nahin hai mera
Us dwaar pe kyon le jaaoon, jo dwaar nahin hai mera
Beeta hua kal toh beet chuka
Kal ka dukh aaj nahin sehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Main Ram nahin hoon phir kyon ummeed karoon Sita ki
Koi insaanon mein dhoondhe kyon paavanta Ganga ki
Duniya mein farishta koi nahin
Insaan hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Here is my attempted English translation. As usual, the translation takes a bit away from the original but I am making an attempt to convey the meaning more than a literal translation. So please bear with me.
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
However you are, from now on you are only mine
All I ask of you is to remain mine (forever)
That is all I want to ask of you
I have no right to the past that you had
So why should I lead you to the door that takes you to the past
That past is now behind us
Do not carry today the sorrow (pain) of yesterday
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
I am no Ram so why should I have expectations of a Seeta
Why do people search in humans for the purity of a Ganga
There is nobody in this world who is an angel
(We are all humans) so let us just be like humans
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
Now, isn't everything about it just beautiful ? You wish there were more people in this world like Feroze Khan here.
The song is sung by Mukesh and picturised on Sudhir.
Today I came across another similarly soulful Mukesh song that took me right back to when I had last heard it - almost 30 years ago !!!
This song is "Mujhe Nahin Poochhni Tumse Beeti Baatein".
This song has some of the most powerful lyrics that I know of in Hindi cinema. I know this is a pretty tall statement to make, given the thousands of beautiful songs in Hindi cinema but I do think this belongs right up there, at least as far as lyrics are concerned.
And yet hardly anybody knows this song. Which is one of the main reasons I am blogging about it. It deserves to be much better known (yearh, right ! Like it is going to be better known because of my blog..ha ha).
Anyway, this song is from an obscure movie "Anjaan Raahein" (1974). Somehow it was obscure though it did star Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. I saw the movie in the late 70s/early 80s. That is when I heard this song for the first (and to-date only) time. I had the text of the song earlier in my Mukesh book but this was the first time I actually heard the song.
What impresses me most about the lyrics is that, for a society steeped in tradition as Indian society was in those days (and still is in some respects), these lyrics are way ahead of the times. We are talking 1974 here.
Come to think of it, though I do not remember the movie very well now, I think it was ahead of its time too. It dealt with issues resulting from lack of appropriate sex education in high schools. Quite bold, for the times.
Here is the video of this beautiful song - picturised beautifully on Feroze Khan and Asha Parekh. Music is by Kalyanji-Anandji.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4akKkofXlk
And here are the lyrics written by Indivar.
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Jaisi bhi ho tum aaj se bas meri ho
Meri hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe tum se hai itna kehna
Beetey hue kal pe tumhaare adhikaar nahin hai mera
Us dwaar pe kyon le jaaoon, jo dwaar nahin hai mera
Beeta hua kal toh beet chuka
Kal ka dukh aaj nahin sehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Main Ram nahin hoon phir kyon ummeed karoon Sita ki
Koi insaanon mein dhoondhe kyon paavanta Ganga ki
Duniya mein farishta koi nahin
Insaan hi ban ke rehna
Mujhe nahin poochhni tumse beeti baatein
Kaisi bhi guzaari hon tumne apni raatein
Here is my attempted English translation. As usual, the translation takes a bit away from the original but I am making an attempt to convey the meaning more than a literal translation. So please bear with me.
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
However you are, from now on you are only mine
All I ask of you is to remain mine (forever)
That is all I want to ask of you
I have no right to the past that you had
So why should I lead you to the door that takes you to the past
That past is now behind us
Do not carry today the sorrow (pain) of yesterday
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
I am no Ram so why should I have expectations of a Seeta
Why do people search in humans for the purity of a Ganga
There is nobody in this world who is an angel
(We are all humans) so let us just be like humans
I do not want to ask you (or know) about your past
How you (may have) spent your nights
Now, isn't everything about it just beautiful ? You wish there were more people in this world like Feroze Khan here.
Labels:
old hindi songs
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