My Experiments with Truth - My Darling Niece

An experience today of a friend of mine, playing a computer game with his son, reminded me of my experience a few months ago with my 6-year old niece.

She was on the iPad, playing a game. (I don’t remember what it was called, but it involved connecting dots of different colors).

Now, of the many modern-day skills that I do NOT possess, one that I am particularly inept at, is computer games. Indeed, I AM the dumbest guy in the whole wide world when it comes to computer games of ANY sort. The last game I remember playing was Pac-Man, way back in the 1980s. And I was hopeless at that too. And there was another game with bricks falling from the ceiling onto the floor, where you're supposed to to prevent the bricks from hitting the floor. When I'd play, within five seconds, all the bricks would be on the floor!

I’ve not really played a computer game since those extremely humbling moments of the 1980s. I’ve been very occasionally persuaded to take part in a game, got myself thoroughly thrashed and humiliated – and left the field, cursing myself, and vowing never to go near  one of those “things” again.

But here was my sweet little niece on the iPad – playing this game like it was 1+2. I watched her with admiration and amusement as she made her rapid moves in the game, muttering to herself occasionally, completely oblivious to the world around her.

I was happy to just be around her – let’s face it, if you want to bond with a little kid nowadays, you need to probably first bond with the gadgets and devices that they bond with. :-)

She looked up and saw me. Then, giving me the sweetest of smiles, she thrust the iPad in my hand. “Here, Raja Peppa , you play” (In Tamil, one's father’s older brother is called Peri-appa, which she pronounces as Peppa).

My immediate instinct was to run away as far as possible - but that would mean running away from her. And that, I wouldn’t ever want to do.

So I said, in as calm a tone as I could muster, “It is ok. You play. You’re doing very well”. And handed the iPad back to her.

I didn’t quite realize that when she’d said “you play”, it wasn’t a request. It was an order.

“No, peppa, YOU PLAY”. And the iPad was back in my (trembling) hands.

I looked around – there was thankfully nobody around. “Ok, so what do I have to do?” I asked her in a soft voice.

“You have to connect. Pink to pink, red to red, blue to blue, green to green”.

“Ok, let me try”.

Needless to mention, I messed up. Bad.

Red wasn’t connecting to red, not without being intercepted by blue. And, just when I thought I’d been very smart by somehow, circuitously, making the green connection, I found it totally messed up the pink line. So I had to undo it – and was soon back at square one.

I will grant it to her – she was patient to start with. Very patient. She kept muttering something under her breath – I think she'd got it all worked out in her head in five seconds, and was just repeating the steps to herself.

But the patience had to wear out sometime. Her initial encouraging comment of “You can do it, Peppa” became a “It is SO EASY!”, with a sigh and a look that clearly translated in simple English to “What is WRONG with this guy?”.

As I continued to fumble, the refrain became "Even I (emphasis on I) can do it, it is SO EASY! Peppa!”. (Children have this very mistaken impression that whatever they can do, adults can do so much faster and better. We all know how true THAT is, when it comes to computer games).

After a few minutes, she said “OK, give it to me”. Again, not a request. An order.

I was more than happy to comply with it. “Phew, THAT went well!” I thought.

But she wasn’t done yet.

She lowered one level (I think from 5 to 4) – and the iPad was back in my hands.

This now became even MORE embarrassing – clearly my targets had been lowered, because her expectations had been lowered. And that's never a particularly healthy boost to one’s  self-worth.

I will not attempt to describe in detail the next few minutes. The muttering, the expressions of incredulity at the pathetic sight that lay before her. And the constant “It is SO EASY, it is SO EASY!”.

The level went from 4 to 3. And 3 to 2.

At 2, when there was not a SHRED of self-worth left anymore to be demolished, she finally said “Ok, now GIVE it to me!” If resignation has been written on any face quite as explicitly and unforgivingly as that, I hadn’t seen it in my life yet.

My limitless shamelessness meant that I happily took the cue and gave her back the iPad, without the slightest protest of “Give me a few minutes. At this level, I should be able to do it”.

But within a few seconds, the iPad was back in my hands.

With the level ZERO.

“ NOW YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT, PEPPA!”.

I will not embarrass myself further by telling you how it went from there.

Good thing kids have short memories.

And, it's a good thing that, for all the advancement science has made over the years, it's yet to come up with a way to measure embarrassment.

UPDATE: After my sister-in-law read this post, she asked my niece whether she remembered this incident. And apparently she still remembers it! Ok, probably not the details, but she remembers that I tried my hand at the game. Apparently she told her Mom "He tried". I'm happy if THIS is her lasting impression of the incident. :-)

I'm everywhere!

People I judge

I always hold a grudge

And from my views,

I never, never budge

I sit on a perch

Like the pastor of a church

I look down on you

Like I would, a dirty shoe

I’m a nasty piece of work

Real work I always shirk

If at work I make you cry

I see that as a perk

I am the guy you hate

The one you’d never date

But hey I’m everywhere

Just look outside your gate.

Budget 2013 - my main take-away!

(This is not a post about my views on the subject of taxation at large. That is a MUCH broader subject - and one which I would like to sometime expound on from a philosophical angle, including a discussion on role of government. This post is purely about Budget 2013 and the one item that I want to highlight).

The Union Finance Minister of India, Mr. P.Chidambaram (PC) presented the Finance Bill 2013, containing the Budget for 2013-14, to Parliament yesterday.

As usual, there was a lot of anticipation and discussion before the budget presentation.

And, as usual, there was a lot of discussion after the budget presentation.

The media – print, TV and social media – was expectedly in overdrive. Analysts, economists, “tax experts”, who suddenly seem to be a dime-a-dozen come budget time, got their 15 minutes of fame (some only 5 minutes in an overcrowded space), all of them eager to add their decibels to the noise. Corporate honchos, an increasingly prominent and vocal constituency in an increasingly capitalist India, were keen to share their wisdom and cover their own bases. And of course, politicians were not to be left out – their opinions on such occasions always admirably reflecting their self-interest.

It was all a lot of fun, if a little too much sometimes. The key when such an event happens is to know when to switch off and on. The media, always hungry for content and salivating on such occasions IS most certainly not going to hold back – it is upto the recipient to pick and choose.

Much of the post-budget discussion was spent in “rating” the budget. Various analysts gave it a thumbs-up, many qualifying this by saying “It was good, but that’s mainly because it could have been much worse. The budget could have raised taxes much more than it did, given our fiscal deficit situation”.

Most of the analysts, when asked for their main take-away from the budget speech, talked about the balancing act that the FM had done.

His attempt to continue on social equity initiatives without jeopardizing what has now become a fairly stable tax regime.

His efforts to boost investment through measures like the investment allowance.

His announcement of the first public sector women’s bank also came in, expectedly, for a lot of attention and discussion.

His announcements, potentially affecting investments for FIIs from tax-havens. This seemed to confuse many. In a post-budget press conference this was one of the areas he was most quizzed about. He went to great pains to try to explain the changes in this area.

The other much-talked about announcement in his speech was his intention to impose a one-time surcharge (of 10% of tax) on taxpayers with a taxable income of Rs 1 crore (Rs 10 million) or more. This would be a one-time exercise and, together with increasing taxes on corporate with profits of over Rs 10 crore, is expected to bring in additional tax receipts to the government.

Obviously there was much more than all this but I’m not going to discuss the budget. I’m not competent to do so.

What I want to talk about is MY main take-away.

Let me start by saying I’ve always enjoyed reading about the Union Budget. From the very first one I remember reading about (Finance Minister C.Subramaniam’s budget of 1975 – which I didn’t understand anything about), to this day (when I still don’t claim to understand too much), budget days have been interesting and full of anticipation.

I’ve always liked to know where my country plans to invest its thousands of crores. How much in Defence, how much in Healthcare, how much in Education and so on. And where all that money is going to come from. Early on, I realized that – in a “planned economy” model - where there’s no allocation, one shouldn’t expect much to happen in that area.

Of course, allocation in itself doesn’t really mean much in a country where there is NO real follow-up or accountability. So it ends up being a license for the concerned Ministry to spend the allocated money, without having to show deliverables against the money spent. Ok, so there’s a CAG which is supposed to audit government accounts but the whole system is such that it doesn’t lend itself to easy transparency or public scrutiny.

But we all know this, we keep ranting about it – that’s a matter for another discussion. This is about this Budget.

The reason I digressed a bit into giving a slightly personal historical perspective is that I’ve long since stopped caring about the nitty-gritty details of a budget. I’ve seen too many budgets just tinkering with the numbers for me to care too much. An amount of 10,000 is changed to 15,000. A 20% is made 25%. That sort of tinkering. Often this tinkering gets a lot of attention – and everybody’s happy (or unhappy).

Over the years, especially as I’ve grown older, I’ve learnt to look at matters holistically instead of being caught up in the instance. I’m not talking only about this budget. I’m talking about most things. From politics to sports to religion to business to social matters – events and instances happen everyday (and we get caught up in them) but it's important to remember they work within a framework established earlier. They are rarely isolated instances. So it is often much more meaningful to look at that framework – to question its legitimacy, its currency in today’s times – rather than pick on the instance.

For example, religious rabble-rousing. Incidents happen every day, we get caught up in who said what and did what. Instead of looking at the framework in which society breeds such passions. If we don’t fix that framework, we will only be addressing every incident.

Or, our security issues. We react on every bomb blast - again, addressing every incident. Or our Freedom Of Expression issues. Or our Violence Against Women (VAW) issues.  I can go on and on. We get caught up in the incident – we might even try a quick cause-and-effect exercise for that particular incident. But we then leave it at that. We don’t look at the entire gamut (or at least a broad enough canvas) of the issue to come up with a holistic approach to addressing it.

But I’m digressing. This is about the budget exercise – and my main take-away.

The budget exercise is supposed to present the govt’s accounts (at a high level) for the current year. And supposed to present its estimates for the coming year. It is of course an excellent opportunity for the Finance Minister to share his thoughts on the financial state of affairs of the country, his concerns, what he perceives as opportunities, how he plans to address his concerns and so on. A sort of “State of the Nation” address – but economy-oriented. Of course, the Economic Survey is a big part of this – and is often the basis for the proposals for revenue and expenditure planning.

This is always the first part of every budget speech. And sets the tone for the expenditure and revenue planning.

Yesterday, the FM made it clear early on itself that his budget did not give him much room for providing tax relief in terms of existing slabs or rates. There was a token relief – too token to be considered significant, in my opinion, though he did emphasise that a certain number of crores of taxpayers would benefit. He also said that if he wanted to have a broad tax net and revenue base, he could not afford to raise the slabs.

I was a bit confused – so I put on my “holistic” hat.

What is the real purpose of taxation?

To collect revenue?

Or, to get as many taxpayers as possible?

What, if the Finance Minister could get more high-income taxpayers into the net? So that, even at existing rates (or even lowered rates), his revenue could be sufficiently augmented? Would that mean he’d find it ok to leave the marginal (first-slab) taxpayers out of the tax net? Since the new taxpayers would be high-income, many more marginal taxpayers can afford to be left out of the net.

Of course, there would then be comparisons with other countries to justify an approach. The US, Europe etc. India has a very moderate tax regime compared to Europe. (It is a moot point though what the tax payer gets for his tax payment). So why should the govt pamper its citizens even more, with higher slabs and lower rates? Should India anyway compare itself with the US and Europe? Very different economies, at different stages of development and need for growth, with different demographics, aren't they?

Even as I was mulling over this, I heard the FM say something that shocked me.

He was talking about the surcharge on those with a taxable income of Rs. 1 crore or more (Everybody’s been calling them the “super-rich”, but the FM didn’t like use of this term).

He said there were, in all, 42800 such individuals and entities who were covered by this.

My first reaction was “What??? Just 42800? In all of India? You’ve got to be kidding me!”.

And THIS is MY biggest take-away from the budget speech.

This figure of 42800.

The FM said it, without batting an eyelid.

Surely he himself knows that this is a ridiculously low figure, given the number of businesses we have in the metros alone, leave the rest of India aside for a moment?

What have his Income Tax officials been doing?

If they really put their minds to it, they could get many more in Mumbai’s Kalbadevi area alone, I’m sure. An annual taxable income of 1 crore, in today’s India, is not really that much of a big deal.

Similarly, other metros have their catchment areas.

It is not about the magic figure of 1 crore. It is about the blatant extent of tax evasion among those in the high-income brackets. And how easy it really should be for the Income Tax Department to find these individuals/entities, should they focus on it.

So, if THIS is set as a target for the Income Tax officials – that they rope these into their net – we should have a much more comfortable revenue amount collected by the government. The Finance Minister wouldn't have to sweat so much.

And maybe this then allows the government to consider some relief for those at the marginal level. Ok, that may mean some will fall out of the tax net, but so what? Many of them aren’t exactly living a luxurious life anyway – what with the general cost of living and inflation nowadays. Also, it will simplify the administrative work of the Income Tax Department and give a number of marginal taxpayers peace of mind.

If however, the Finance Minister chooses not to pass on any relief to existing taxpayers, at least this would have augmented his collections and helped in his efforts to rein in the fiscal deficit.

What’s most important is that these need to be brought into the tax net on a war footing. I repeat – I don’t see why it should be so difficult to do this. And this is not a one-off. Once they are in the tax net, the revenues would flow in every year – and far more than from the marginal many.

THIS then is one of the biggest weaknesses in our system. Our poor tax collection record. And this needs to be holistically and structurally addressed.

42,800?

Ridiculous!!!

Violence Against Women (VAW) - We need to act NOW!

Perhaps it needed an incident as violent and tragic as this, in the heart of the country’s capital, to shake us up from our indifference. An incident so gut-wrenching that many of us still weep non-stop within, even if our tears are not visible to the outside world. An incident so heartbreaking that many of us still feel tortured by it every single day, though it’s almost a month since the incident.

Weep, we must. And feel tortured, we must.

For what we feel is still not even a fraction of what that poor girl went through.

I’m not suggesting we need to be tortured just because she was. But if we do not feel enough pain or grief even NOW, if we just “move on” without channelizing this pain or grief into something more powerful, more meaningful, we need to hang our heads in shame. And never ever expect us to win any battle against crime. More specifically, crime against women. For we would have lost our right to do so.

And THAT would be the ultimate insult to her. To Nirbhaya or Damini or Amanat. Or, to call her by her real name, Jyoti Singh Pandey. She was a fighter, she fought all the way. We just HAVE to make sure her fight was not in vain.

It is of course not just about Jyoti. She may have become our symbol now, but it is really about EVERY ONE of those women out there. Every one of those who has been raped, who has been abused, who has been harassed, who has been exploited, who has been discriminated against. They may be nameless to us but that doesn’t mean we need to be any less conscious of, or any less sensitive to, their ordeal.

If ever there was a time for us to put our collective energy behind stopping violence against women (VAW), surely that time has come now? (I personally believe it should have come a long time ago if we’d got our priorities and sensibilities right. But we didn’t – so, clearly we are already late in our efforts now. But better late than never, I suppose. But no later than NOW.)

The aftermath of the incident has seen a lot happening in the country. I will touch upon just a few items.

First, the public reaction. Public anger spilled onto the streets in the form of protests in various parts of the country. Most notably – and certainly not surprisingly - in Delhi itself. The political leadership, unsure of how to react, came across as hesitant to engage with the protesters. This only made matters worse as it further strengthened the already growing belief that the political leaders of the country are far removed from the plight and the concerns of the aam janata. To make matters worse, the Delhi police, with an already sinking reputation, only made matters worse for themselves by using lathi charge and tear gas to disperse the crowds.

Then, the promises and assurances. Realising that this was a “hot” issue that could be politically exploited, leaders of various parties began immediate announcements for “safety measures for women” in their constituencies. Suddenly there was talk of more policing, more women police staff in police stations, GPRS in auto rickshaws, “sensitizing of the police force”, banning of “tinted glass” in buses – and more.

Then, the pontification. Various politicians (cutting across party lines) and other mass leaders began sharing their “wisdom” on the incident, and on women in general. Not surprisingly many of their views reflected exactly the patriarchal mindset many Indians (especially of an earlier generation) have. Listening to them was like seeing termites coming out of the woodwork. What became very clear after hearing them is that generations of a patriarchal mindset in society cannot be undone overnight. Not only men but also women have internalized this so deeply that changing this will be a very long drawn process.

If it’s any consolation, from what I’ve read and sensed, today’s youth – more educated and more globally aware – seem to be less burdened by this patriarchal mindset. If this is true, this is a HUGE win because youth form a very large part of our society and will hopefully carry this progressive mindset to future generations. 

And of course, political damage control. The Chief Minister of Delhi, Mrs. Sheila Dikshit, under whose nose the incident took place, got into major damage control for her own self. She lost no time in claiming that the Delhi police were not her responsibility but that of the Home Ministry. Having clarified this, she was happy to lash out at the police, saying they had lost the confidence of the public, they needed to be “sensitized” and “trained” etc etc. With Delhi elections not too far away, she was also careful to always be on the right side of public sentiment. Let’s just say if a seasoned politician like Ms Dikshit had been any less astute in deflecting accountability for the incident that happened in her own backyard, it would’ve been surprising.

With all the attention the case was getting, it wasn’t surprising that the rapists got arrested. Interesting how things somehow “fall in place” when the heat’s really on you. While the rapists undergo trial, the debate on an appropriate punishment for them – and for rapists in general – rages on. 

As does the discussion on bringing changes to the legislation relating to rape.

As does the discussion on police reforms.

With violence against women suddenly becoming a “hot” subject for the media too, the papers (and TV too) have been full of this. Pages and pages have reported rapes from all over the country.

But I’m not writing this piece just to narrate what’s happened in the last month. Most people know most of this anyway.

I’m writing this mainly because I really NOW WANT TO SEE CHANGE.

I want to see visible improvement in women’s safety. I want to see visible reduction in VAW.

The thing is we can all protest, we can all outrage. And we do a lot of that using appropriate channels. And I’d like to think some of it is effective too. So it’s not necessarily a bad thing at all.

But it can only go so far.

We need to have concrete steps taken to make women safe. We need to have concrete steps taken to reduce violence against them. And until we have these in place, we shouldn’t feel satisfied. I know I will not.

As we know, it’s not particularly straightforward. There are many elements at play here. From society, to laws, to our police, to our politicians – and more. In many respects they are connected – and that adds to the complexity of it all. And where there’s complexity, there will be confusion, endless debate and consequently, delay.

So, even if everybody is well-meaning (and even that’s a big IF), a composite solution may remain a pipe-dream for a long while at least.

And I don’t think we can wait till eternity. We have already waited for far too long, as far as I am concerned.

I would therefore like to think of some “quick wins” (if one can call them that) to at least try to minimize the magnitude of the issue. These are not in conflict with the more structural solutions that we need to have in place – like legal and police reforms, and changing the mindset. These “quick wins” are in addition to those steps – the main advantage here being that these should be relatively more easily implementable.

1)  Hold local elected representatives to their promises of “safety measures”. They’ve made all sorts of promises – now let’s make them accountable to deliver. Usually they make promises, win some political brownie points – and move on. Not this time. Let’s follow up, demand a deadline for delivery. Make the promise real.

I won’t be surprised if they chicken out, citing practical issues like budgets, need for multi-party consensus and what not. Fair enough, but then they stand exposed yet again for failing to deliver. This time, publicly. This itself will put pressure on them to go that extra yard. Even if they deliver on SOME of the promises they’ve made, it should make a positive difference for women.

To make this work, we probably need the help of our media. Mainstream media has more access to politicians and policymakers than the aam janata. They need to relentlessly follow up on these promises, not just publish the initial soundbytes. (This is one of my grouses against our media – they flit from one quote-of-the-day to another, but they rarely follow up and hold our elected representatives accountable for what they promise).

2) Bar tainted politicians from holding, or standing for, office. Some of the politicians have themselves admitted to cases of violence against women. There are others who are accused, even if not convicted yet. Some of these are MPs and MLAs. Let us insist that the pending cases are fast-tracked to conclusion. Then, not only should the guilty MPs/MLAs be removed from their positions, but a law needs to be passed to disallow any politician from aspiring for, or holding, office. Or from contesting elections. For life. This may sound like a very tough line but I don’t think it is too much to ask of an elected representative.

3) Get more VAW cases reported to the authorities. VAW often happens because the perpetrator is confident of getting away with it. So it  is absolutely imperative that VAW gets reported promptly. That way at least there’s a start in the case – and there is SOME chance of action against the perpetrator. As things stand today, reporting is at a woeful level at the moment.  For a whole host of reasons. Fear of the police station. A sense of shame about reporting violence (especially rape). Often the perpetrator is known to the victim – the victim often suffers in silence. Fear of being ostracized by society and even by one’s own family.

This has to stop. And stop NOW. I think this is where society – and a number of our well-meaning NGOs - could help.

They need to be immediately available to a victim, to be able to provide that support and strength so badly needed in such situations. They need to take the victim to the police station to get the FIR filed (and ensure the police station does not try to back out from filing the FIR). The police might take an individual lightly but will be less likely to be dismissive of an NGO.

The victim needs to be given re-assurance that she isn't to blame at all for her situation. That she has EVERY right to expect justice for herself. And that there is a support network for her, should she need it.

I presume this is what NGOs are doing today anyway, so what I’m talking about is hopefully already working to some extent. It just needs to work much better so that more cases get reported and there is more chance of justice for the affected person. Also, I think it might help if the NGOs have a strong network of their own so that they could collectively do a much better job than each one operating on its own.

Once more VAW cases get reported, we need to follow up on these, right up to their logical conclusion. Getting the FIR is only the first step. The media can again help  by keeping the police on their toes, by highlighting cases of delay, or mismanagement of a case. (This will also expose structural weaknesses in police infrastructure – and could be a good learning experience when trying to bring about police reforms).

Perhaps a central database of all reported cases can be maintained. Today the data is too scattered, too unreliable, in my opinion. Some of it is just anecdotal. A central database will give us visibility and a tracking tool to put pressure on the police, if necessary.

4) Provide more tools to women for their day-to-day self-defence. We can talk about better policing and all that, but the fact is that women are often physically in a situation where they just have to instantaneously take care of themselves. And prevention is anyway always better than cure. So if there’s a solution out there that helps prevent rape and other violence against women, why not use it?

I’m thinking pepperspray. I’m thinking even simple whistles/alarm instruments. Simple, inexpensive stuff, easily available. Stuff that can easily fit into a woman’s handbag. Maybe more women should start carrying these items with them. It’s not the ultimate solution but, in that moment of self-defence, surely it could be effective? Maybe it will teach the guy(s) a lesson or two too.

This is not an exhaustive list. I’m sure there are more such short-term (as in “implementable in a few months’ time”) solutions out there. Probably far better than the ones above. These just came top of mind to me.

Much more needs to be done. And NOW. While points 1 and 2 require politician intervention (and will therefore presumably require an element of persistence), points 3 and 4 are very much in civilian hands. So what prevents us from actioning them rightaway?

In any case, action would be a whole lot better than just outrage. And waiting for things to somehow improve. If the daily papers are any indication, that could be a very long wait. As if we haven’t waited long enough!

(I’ve deliberately not discussed legislation change or police reform here because I’m not very competent to talk about these subjects. I know what I’d like to see, but I think I don’t know enough about the repercussions of my ideas. So I’d rather leave them out of this piece. Having said that, I think there is enough competence - and attention - on both these subjects to give me hope that there will be concrete action on them in the near future. If there isn’t, I’d be very disappointed).

Rape - and the Delhi wake-up call!

At least one good thing seems to have happened this week.

India, a country that is rarely united on anything that doesn’t involve cricket or film (or more recently, corruption), finally found itself rallying around an issue that, in terms of its seriousness, should’ve been top of the country’s agenda a long, long time ago.

But then this is India – and unless “push” comes to “shove” (and this, believe me, is a huge energy-sapping effort!) – things move at their own sweet pace. And that is, if they do at all.

People will argue that, on the economic front, there has been tremendous progress over the last couple of decades. Sure. But then weren’t we perilously close to the precipice in 1991, with our foreign exchange resources barely able to finance three weeks’ requirement? When we instituted reforms in 1991, I don’t think we really had much of a choice. "Push" had clearly come to "shove".

This week, “push” may have finally come to “shove” in another matter – the matter of rape. (And, to be honest, if it still hasn't, I really don't know if it ever will).

In a country where rape is an everyday incident - across the length and breadth of the country – it must be considered particularly unpardonable, and the biggest example of failed governance, that the government of the day (and I don’t care who it is) has done precious little to stem the incidence of this heinous crime in the several decades since independence. Or perhaps, it is partly BECAUSE of this, that rape has indeed become an everyday incident across the length and breadth of the country.

It has taken an incident, right under the government’s nose (so to speak) – a horrific, gruesome incident in its own backyard – to seemingly finally wake the government up from its stupor. And create an uproar in the media and, consequently, around the country. A 23-year old girl, travelling with her male friend in a Delhi bus on Sunday evening, was brutally gangraped in the bus, then further assaulted so brutally that her intestines were completely damaged. She was then thrown out of the bus, as was her male friend, who was himself assaulted with an iron rod. It is an incident for which any word indicating horror sounds woefully inadequate. As at the time of writing, the girl is still fighting for her life in Delhi’s Safdarjung Hospital. Her male friend seems to have been less critically injured.  

I must say that it is with deliberation, and quite deliberately, that I used the word “consequently” in the previous paragraph. For, however much we may want to deny it, the media plays a HUGE role in what we get to know. And even how we react to it. If something is mentioned in passing, it is far less likely to have us invested in it than something constantly drilled into us every few minutes.

So make no mistake.  This incident, gruesome and horrific though it is, would probably not have elicited half as much of an outrage had it happened in rural India. Or in one of India’s less glamorous states like Odisha. The media would have reported it as a news item for the day. And moved on.

But in the pecking order of media importance, Delhi and Mumbai occupy pride of place. So when this most repulsive of horrors was picked up by the media, it was picked up with all the attention it deserves. Every channel, quite rightly, had it as main news. And, expectedly, social media, increasingly a barometer of the news weather in the country, outraged in a manner that reflected the pain, shock and anger of all who came to know of the incident.

And this media and public reaction was exactly what was needed. MPs in Parliament have expressed their outrage about the incident, some in dramatic fashion. People have begun congregating in various towns and cities to highlight the issue of rape, to protest against government inaction on the subject, to voice their views on how the issue should be tackled.

People have been writing articles about rape and how they think it should be tackled – in print media, on their blogs. They have been  hyperactive in social media – whether on Twitter with their tweets, or sharing opinions on Facebook. In general, the issue has everybody’s attention – and very rightfully so.

Rape is one of the most heinous of crimes and, like I’ve said earlier, should have been very high on our priority list for tackling social ills. In fact I would expand the scope of this, and say that addressing Violence Against Women (VAW), in its various flavors, should have been right up there in our priority list. (For the purpose of this piece, I am excluding rape against men, though I don’t deny its existence).

So now it’s taken such a sad and shocking incident to make us react like this. And to seemingly shake our MPs out of their stupor.

I say “seemingly” because while the MPs have expressed their outrage, this isn’t the first time they’ve done so. And yet, on the ground, precious little has happened. Not that VAW is going to disappear with some legislation, but there are several areas where the legislation is either weak, or just missing. And it is MPs who can introduce and pass legislation for the country. So,  while the outrage is all very well, the MPs will need to now most certainly walk the talk as well. Otherwise this will be seen as just another hollow act on their part. Politicians have been known to take expedient action only when their own politican careers are at stake.

Many of the reactions to this incident focus on the “deterrent” side of rape. Discussions range from a life sentence, to the death penalty, to other forms of punishment for the perpetrator. There have been some knee-jerk reactions no doubt, but there have also been some well-thought out opinions expressed.

Some of the items are no-brainers.

For starters, though things have improved on this front in the last few years, even today many rapes are not reported at all. There is still this stigma attached to a rape victim. She runs the risk of being ostracized by society. And sometimes even by her own family.

Then the process! Even if a rape does get reported, it is often extremely difficult to get a conviction. Here again the rape victim is often made to appear as the person in the wrong.  As if SHE is to blame for the rape. You see, SHE shouldn't have been out that late. And surely, SHE shouldn't have worn those tight-fitting jeans? The rapist is often better connected, so it is often the victim who has to undergo additional mental torture to “prove” that she was raped. As if she has not undergone enough already! And mind you, given the time that cases usually take in India’s courts, justice, if it were to come at all, could end up being nothing more than farcical.

And then, even if the rapist DOES get convicted, the penalty? Does it match the enormity of the crime? Many would say no.
And after all this, when the victim, inspite of all the scars she's received - physically and mentally - wants to get on with her life, society does not allow her to. Just because she's been raped, it means her life's over? Why? 

Anyway, considering all this, there’s no wonder that rapes occur all over the country every single day with total impunity. There’s a lot – and I really mean a LOT – that needs to be fixed purely on the operational and legal side of this issue.

Many suggestions have come up in the last few days. To be honest, I got a déjà vu feeling seeing many of them. Fast-track courts for rape cases? Surely this isn’t the first time we’re talking about them?

But I’m still happy that these suggestions are being made now. And THIS TIME will hopefully be more than just idle talk. For if even NOW we don’t DO something, I really don’t know what else needs to happen in this country for us to act. For me – and hopefully I speak for most Indians – “push” has definitely come to “shove” now.

While there is universal outrage about rape, there are different opinions about what constitutes the most effective “deterrent” for rape. Some advocate the death penalty, others a life sentence. Some advocate bobbitization, some chemical castration.

To be honest, I’m not very sure where I stand on this. Clearly, there must be a stronger deterrent than we have today. A much stronger one. But I will leave it to more competent persons to determine what that should be.

The other important thing that I’m hearing a lot – and had that déjà vu feeling about – is police reforms. Surely this is a no-brainer? Where do I start?

In my opinion, by and large, the police in India operate under very stressful conditions. They are under-staffed, they are not well trained, they don’t have modern equipment, they work very long hours, they are under-paid compared to other more cushy professions, they are often rendered impotent in their jobs by political interference. And then we expect them to do a great policing job? To take care of the safety of the citizens of the country?

The answer is yes. We expect them to do this. While we may sympathise with their situation, we still have every right as citizens to expect our police to do their job. The police is an arm of our government. And one of the absolutely primary jobs of a government of a country is to protect its citizens from external and internal threats to their safety.

I cannot think of a bigger governance failure in our country than that of breakdown of law and order, at an individual level. Sure, maybe we don’t have the mass breakdown that we sometimes hear about in our neighbor country, Pakistan, but I wouldn’t pat ourselves too much on the back for this. At an individual level, a citizen rarely has the confidence that the police is there to help him or her. That is the policeman’s job, his raison d’etre. The common perception (and mind you, even if it’s unfair and untrue, it is still a perception) is that the police is there for the powerful, for the mafia, not for the common man or woman.

I’d like to think the police are the way they are (or are perceived to be), not because they WANT to be that way. But because of all the issues they face in their job. If so, for me, police reforms cannot happen sooner in this country. If catching perpetrators of crime is itself such a rare feat, one can forget about the judicial process that follows.

So judicial reforms (including fast-track courts), police reforms (including sensitizing the police force towards rape) – cannot happen sooner!

But for me, while all of this is required, what is really really REALLY required is social reconditioning.

We’ve been talking about the law and the police, but what will be the biggest help – most certainly over a period of time – will be changing the mindset in our society with regard to rape. And women in general.

Again, where do I start? There is SO MUCH wrong in our mindset that there’s a LOT of work to be done on this front.

For starters, we’ve been carrying around this sex-inequality mindset with us for centuries. Not just India but the whole world. Only, some developed countries have a more balanced mindset on this now (well, relatively speaking) whereas we’ve still got a LONG way to go.

In India, women are still seen very much as “the weak sex” and men as the “strong sex”. This fundamentally flawed thinking (derived from physiological differences between the two sexes), is to me at the root of many problems. Not just rape, but most forms of VAW stem from this. For example, domestic violence is often purely a manifestation of physical superiority. When a man is frustrated with life, or does not have an answer to a problem, he hits out at somebody who is physically less likely to hit back at him. And who is that usually? A woman.

Rape also fits in very comfortably into this narrative. Rape, as many have pointed out, is not so much about sex as about a statement of power, a statement of physical superiority. As noted film-maker Shekhar Kapur said on a talk show last week, armies in the past would march into conquered lands and not just pillage their wealth but also rape their women. That was their way of saying “we’ve won, we’re stronger than you”.

Even today this is one way that men choose to “teach women a lesson”.

As India is in the process of modernizing itself, as the country is on its way to economic development, more and more women in the country are beginning to do fairly well for themselves. They are getting more educated, they are getting jobs that were going to men in the past. Men used to be fairly secure about their position in society. Not anymore.

So what do the men do? Do they try to become more competitive? Some do. But some others just take an “easier” route. They take out their frustration on the "cause of their problem" using the one attribute they are still confident about – their physical superiority. They just attack – or rape - the woman. Or any woman, because their hatred is now not towards just that one woman, but towards women at large.

Then, we have the moral police. The men who think they are protecting their “culture”. They have an image of “how a woman should be” somewhere in their heads. How she should dress, what she should do, and not do. They then go about enforcing THEIR image in society at large. Welcome, the Rama Sena. Welcome, the khap panchayats in Haryana. Welcome, many more unorganized groups (even individuals) who think the woman is “wrong” so she should be “taught a lesson”.

Then there are the “macho” guys. Yes, they believe that proof of their being “macho” is how many women they have “scored with”. For them, rape is just fun. A points game. They would pick up any woman and rape her – just to brag to their friends about it.

Then there are the perverts. These are the ones who rape the very girls who trust them. A large number of rapes happen by men known – and trusted – by the victim. Many of the victims in these cases are minors.

Even as I’m writing this, my heart is breaking. I am sure there are more categories. I’ve only discussed four so far – the frustrated man who takes out his frustration with life on a woman, the moral policeman who thinks “errant women need to be taught a lesson”, the “macho” man who thinks women exist for his enjoyment alone, the pervert who abuses that most valuable of human traits – trust.

So where do we start fixing these?

To me, there’s one – and only one place – that we can start fixing this.

And that’s in childhood.

No male child starts life as a potential rapist. He is just a child who can become anything.

His environment and his upbringing determine his value system. They determine how he interacts with other people. Very importantly, they determine how he sees women.

If all around him, he sees women objectified, there’s a fair chance he will do the same. You can then safely expect him to pass lewd remarks at women at bus stops, grab them at every opportunity – and quite possibly rape them to show off to his friends.

If all around him, he sees men acting holier-than-thou, talking down women, and dictating to them how they should or should not behave, there’s a good chance he will become part of a moral police brigade later in life. After all, "men know best what’s good for society – and therefore what women’s role is and how they should fulfil it."

I think my point is clear. If we don’t want rapists in society, we need to start by working on a young boy’s formative years, on his impressionable years. This is the best time to instill in him a sense of respect for all. Especially women. 

Teach him that men and women are father-mother, brother-sister, friends, partners. Most importantly, that they are equal. And if he's been endowed with greater physical strength, it is for being put to good use. And for protecting and helping women. For his mother is a woman too - and is the reason for his existence.

I don't think it is very difficult to get this message across. At that age, it shouldn't be.

But EVERYBODY has to work on this. Family, schools, society, media, government, everybody. The ENTIRE environment needs to encourage this value system, otherwise there is a chance of him falling through.

I know this sounds idealistic. Maybe it is, too. But I strongly believe in preventive, rather than corrective, measures. 

Looking at myself, I feel I am a product of a good environment - and that has shaped much of my thinking. I guess I’m lucky. There are millions of other guys like me out there – I think we turned out alright. With an ok value system, at least with regard to women. 

So don’t tell me it cannot be done. 

But it needs ALL of us to be part of this process. We need to build our society together. We need to build tomorrow's world together. Otherwise the lament of Sahir Ludhianvi "aurat ne janam diya mardon ko, mardon ne usey bazaar diya", written all of 54 years ago and relevant even today, will be relevant a hundred years from today too.

No excuses, none of that "men are made like this only", "it's about testosterone, you know" nonsense. There is NOTHING to be proud about - and NOTHING that can justify - violating another's life.

So while we work on all the “deterrents”, while we work on judicial reforms, while we work on police reforms, can we please also put our efforts into changing the male mindset? It is a problem created by MEN, after all, so they need to be a big part of the solution.

Because, to me, THIS is the only long-term sustainable form of society that we should be working towards.

Where men and women live and work together. 

Without being threatened by the other’s presence. 

And actually learning that being together in society, as different sexes, is a lot of fun.

Dard-e-dil, dard-e-jigar

Khoya khoya sa hoon

Ki apni hi talaash mein hoon

Sehma sehma sa hoon

Ki kuchh niraash sa hoon

Bunte the khwaab bhi kabhi

Jab kabhi asha ki thi kiran

Ab to aalam hai ye banaa

Ki haare baazigar ke taash sa hoon

Loose English translation:

I am somewhat lost
For I'm in search of my own self
I am somewhat subdued
For I'm disillusioned at the moment
I used to weave dreams once
When I thought I could see a ray of hope
But now I feel like a gambler
Dealt a hand that can only lose

P.S: My occasional forays in the world of poetry sometimes do border on the morose. This is purely because I like to indulge in all moods in my poetry, not just the gung-ho type. The poetry should therefore not be seen as necessarily reflective of my state of mind. :-)

Whose life is it anyway?

So they’ve ceased firing

For how long, I wonder

A year, maybe two

‘fore the bombs again thunder

Where life is cheap

And dignity even cheaper

The wrinkles tell their own story

As the wounds just get deeper

That child silenced for ever

Was she Jew or non-Jew

Collateral damage, they say

And continue to bomb anew

And we, from the sidelines, watch

This drama year after year

From the comfort of our cosiness

We shed the odd tear.